Equilibrium
by Ardwolf
Summary: Superheroes cannot kill those they fight, not for any reason. This is known as The Code and it is absolute, but not without cost. What happens when that cost is so terrible not even superheroes can pay it?
1. 1 Honeymoon’s End

Superheroes cannot kill those they fight, not for any reason. This is known as The Code and it is absolute, but not without cost. What happens when that cost is so terrible not even superheroes can pay it?

This is a Teen Titans/Dr Who crossover. It takes place between the Dr Who episodes _Tooth and Claw_ and _School Reunion _(Tenth Doctor/Rose), and three weeks after my previous story _Conversation Over Pizza _(which occurs a couple of months after _Trouble In Tokyo_).

If the first chapter makes your head explode you might want to refer to _Conversation Over Pizza _to find out why.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own and did not create Dr Who, the Teen Titans, or many of the characters and locations mentioned in this story. This is, after all _fan fiction_, which by definition uses the original characters and settings created to tell stories the original creators never envisioned (or even know about).

As such I didn't write this story for profit, it is merely meant to entertain any reader who stumbles upon it. I hope my poor attempt does justice to _Dr Who_ and _Teen Titans_. If you like this story please make sure to check out the two original series, both are well worth watching!

The character of Detective Twain was borrowed from Jessemudflap's story _The White Rose_, which is itself well worth your time to read.

* * *

Chapter 1 – Honeymoon's End

His eyes snapped open as he felt an arm slip around him. The feel of lips against his cheek brought him fully awake and the slight tart odor of her breath made memory rush back. He relaxed imperceptibly and turned into her embrace.

"Good morning, my husband." She whispered. "Did you sleep well?"

He knew she was smiling even though he couldn't see it. Seemed like both of them hadn't stopped smiling since the day the _marisu_ had turned their lives upside down.

"Like a baby, Star." He answered quietly, feeling her warm and soft against him. Memories of the last three weeks washed over him like a tide made of miracle. But that miracle had a sting in its tail, potent and dangerous. None of them knew the shape of it, only that it would arrive today.

She was watching him, her eyes faintly luminous in the dimness of their room.

_Our room_. He thought. _I'm still getting used to that. Still getting used to lots of things._

"Today's the day." He said.

She nodded, not letting go.

"The _marisu_ told us Tuesday of the third week, and I do not think he will be wrong, Robin. He did not lie about our two weeks of peace nor that we would once again face our foes afterward. Even if it was only the Dr. Light." She chuckled.

"Yeah, well, maybe that was a good thing. We _had_ been slacking off on combat practice." Robin said lightly. "He was a little tougher than usual too. Took us all afternoon. I thought Beast Boy was going to faint from the heat before we brought him down."

"Perhaps friend Beast Boy watches too much the television?" Starfire asked. "Although I do not believe Cyborg has such an excuse. Also, did you notice Raven seemed—less annoyed—with Dr. Light than she has been in the past?"

"Yeah, I kept waiting for her to pull her "scary cape" trick but she seemed content to pound on him with a cement mixer instead. Maybe our good mood is contagious?"

"That would indeed be wonderful, Robin. Oh, my joy is so large I cannot contain it!" She squeezed him tightly. He winced in pain.

"Watch the ribs, Star!" He gasped.

"Oh! I am so sorry, my husband! Please forgive me!" She let go hastily. "Your ribs have still not recovered?"

"Mostly." He said ruefully. "I wish I'd known your control slips when you get excited _before_ finding out the hard way."

"I do humbly apologize. Truthfully I had never even considered it. I believe I am the first Tameranean to marry outside my species. My people are not well regarded in the galaxy, so no one else has ever wished to marry one of us."

"Then the galaxy is filled with idiots." Robin said flatly. "Lucky for me."

"Truly, I am the one blessed with the luck, Robin, for I have discovered the one who could love me." She hugged him gently. Her face was solemn in the dimness.

Suddenly she brightened.

"Although I _am_ most pleased you found a solution to the problem, my husband!" She said cheerfully. "I would never have thought to use chains in such a manner. Or the rubber ball, that was most considerate of you, to let our friends sleep through the sound of my unbridled joy."

"Yeah, about that." Robin said carefully. "Let's just keep that our little secret, ok Star?"

"Why, my husband?" Star raised herself on one elbow. "I believe Raven might find the information useful one day. Or perhaps friend Cyborg."

Robin shuddered. "Um, Star, Cyborg can program his strength, and Raven, well she's not nearly as strong as you are. I don't think they need to know."

"Oh. Well, as you wish. Still, it is time for us to rise and meet the challenge of the day, as much as I would rather spend it here with you." She pulled back the cover and floated off the bed. He shaded his eyes from the brilliance as the lights came on, flooding the room.

Starfire idly stripped off her nightgown as she floated over to the closet, unconcerned with her nudity. He, on the other hand, rapidly averted his eyes before mentally kicking himself.

_She's my **wife**, for God's sake. _He reminded himself. _I'm allowed to look_. He spent several seconds admiring her before she turned unexpectedly, catching him watching her. Smiling she carried her clothes back to the bed and settled on her knees next to him.

"Your eyes are very beautiful, Robin." She said softly. "Am I the only one to ever see them?"

"Pretty much." He agreed. "But I did take off my mask in Tokyo, remember? When I was framed and had to hide?"

"When the criminal Uehara Daizo made everyone think you had murdered Saico-Tek." Starfire nodded, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "It still angers me that he could be so cruel. I knew you could never do such a thing."

"Don't be so sure, Star." He said somberly. "I've come pretty close with Slade."

"But you did not." She cupped his face with one hand. "You were not the one to kill him, Robin. Terra did."

"Yeah. Pity he didn't stay dead." Robin said disgustedly.

"While I believe it is wrong to rejoice in an enemy's death," Star said carefully, "Truly our lives would simpler if Slade were not in them. Although he seems to have lain near the ground since we defeated Trigon."

"Laid low." Robin corrected her automatically. "I wonder if Slade is the one the _marisu_ warned us about."

"Why would we need vinegar for use against Slade?" Starfire asked, cocking her head. "Surely it would do no good against Cinderblock, nor Plasmus. And Overload can be defeated by ordinary water."

"I could be wrong." Robin admitted. "This might be a whole new enemy."

"We will know soon enough." Starfire said, donning her top. "Let us join our friends for breakfast, my husband. Perhaps I will try one of Beast Boy's soy sausages today. I am curious why friend Raven does not approve of them. Although, now that I think upon it, she does not seem to enjoy zorka berry jam either. Perhaps she has the delicate stomach?"

Robin paused, debating how to tell his wife exactly why humans found zorka berries so horrific, when he was distracted by the sight of her wriggling into her skirt.

"Robin, you have not even started getting dressed!" She said slipping on one of her thigh-length boots. "Do human males always take so long to don their garments?" There was a teasing note in her voice.

"Just when our wives distract us." Robin said with a grin. He sprang forward and put his hands on her shoulders, using the leverage to vault into a flip over her and land five feet from the bed, using his momentum to smoothly propel himself toward the closet.

"Hmmf." She sniffed. "Is that not known as the _showing off_, Robin?"

"Yep." He said cheerfully. "I tend to do that when I'm happy."

"Then I am glad I was the cause of your showing off." She said. "And now it is I who will enjoy watching you, my husband. Please proceed with the donning of the garments."

Robin froze, turning a startled glance at Starfire who was standing with arms crossed, an innocent gaze directed toward him.

"You know, you're not as naive as you pretend, Star." He said, dressing with quick economical movements.

"My people do not hide the joyful interaction between men and women. Nor do we cower inside our clothing in terror that someone might see us naked." She said lightly, her eyes drinking in his every move. "I have never understood why Earth people see things so differently."

"Long story, Star." He said, grinning. "But you always seemed so shy and innocent. Is that just an act? Am I starting to see the real Starfire at last?"

She shook her head.

"No, my husband. I have never hidden what I am. I do what I must; it is a matter of courtesy, and decorum. I am a stranger to your world. I do not wish to give offense, nor to appear an ignorant savage unfamiliar with polite customs. As a member of the Royal House I must be the living proof that Tameraneans are not as the galaxy thinks us to be. You remember Val-Yor, do you not? Unfortunately, he is typical of how most in the galaxy regard my people. They see us as mere barbarians who cannot understand culture and manners."

Robin paused, staring at her, appalled. "Star, that's not it! I didn't mean—"

She flew quickly across the room, placing one hand over his mouth.

"Fear not, Robin. From the very beginning, to you I was never a savage barbarian, never a _troq_. You alone always saw me for what I was. Worthy to be your friend, trusted to watch your back in battle. And now, worthy to be your wife. For that, and so much more, you are worthy to be my husband. We are one. Do not fear the thoughtless words, Robin. We are stronger than they are. Always remember that."

She looped his utility belt around his hips and snapped it closed, and then smoothed his cloak around his shoulders.

"Come, Robin. I am hungry. Let us join our friends in glorious good fellowship." She hooked her arm in his and steered them both through the door.


	2. 2 Meeting Old Enemies For The Very First

Chapter 2 – Meeting Old Enemies For The Very First Time

"Go, go, go, _go!_" He yelled, passing her at a dead run. The blonde girl took one look at what pursued him and leaped after her companion.

"What, you couldn't disable the drive _quietly?_" She groused as they increased the lead on their pursuers. "Did you have to invite the whole crew for tea?"

"Less talking, more running!" He snapped grumpily. "It's not as simple as pulling off a distributor cap, you know!"

"A what?" She asked as she passed him. Angry growls from behind him inspired the man to catch up to his companion.

"You know—motor cars? Don't you know anything about engines?" He gasped. "Here! In _here_." He grabbed her arm and forcefully spun her through the door. Skidding to a stop he slapped the switch and watched as the hatch slide shut in the bulbous green faces of their many pursuers. The largest screamed in rage. The man hastily shorted out the door switch with an instrument drawn from his pocket.

"Ha!" The man shouted in triumph. "Try getting through that you half-witted—"

A tremendous blow from the other side caused a huge dent to appear in the metal hatch. Another followed in rapid succession.

"Ah. Yes. That's not good."

He spun around, running toward his impatient companion who was standing beside a blue wooden box.

"You really shouldn't taunt the monsters, Doctor." She said, grinning.

"Right. Don't want to overstay our welcome. We'll just be off then, shall we?" He said, fishing a key from his waistcoat pocket. He opened the door to the blue box and they scrambled inside.

The girl paused in the doorway, one hand ready to slam it shut. She calmly watched a massively clawed green fist punch completely through the battered metal hatch, then rip it free and hurl it aside with a deafening clang. An eight foot tall nightmare stepped through the opening and glared at her with large expressionless black eyes.

"Old fat spider, sitting in a tree! Attercop, attercop, can't catch me!"

Laughing she slammed the wooden door and threw the latch. Then she calmly walked down the ramp to join her companion at the large console that dominated the thirty foot round chamber they stood in.

"I thought you said not to taunt the monsters, Rose." His eyes were twinkling.

"I just couldn't resist." She answered, laughing.

"Fun, isn't it?" The man was throwing switches, moving around the console with haste but not panic.

"Now, let's put a little distance between us and our large angry hosts. Then I'll put a call into Raxacoricofallapatorius to collect our friends and we're done and dusted."

"It still blows my mind. This bunch are Slitheen, just like that lot in London." The blonde girl said, leaning back against the console.

"Yeah, so?" Her companion asked distractedly as he pumped what looked like a bicycle pump mounted to the console. In fact, she knew it _was _a bicycle pump.

"Well, they were the last of the Slitheen, right? And then Mickey blew them sky high with that missile—along with Downing Street, yet here we are now with this lot and you tell me they're the parents or grandparents of the berks we clobbered in London—and they don't know us from Adam."

"Time machine." He said, smirking. Then he frowned and kicked the console. "Come on old girl, don't be stubborn. Ah!"

The column in the console's middle started to rise and fall and the distinctive growling groan of the TARDIS taking off made the two of them relax.

"Ok, here we go…" He busied himself typing a message on the laptop almost organically fastened haphazardly to the console. With a flourish, he hit the Enter key and drummed his fingers, waiting. It didn't take long, and he grinned when he read it.

"Right. That's sorted then." The Doctor said happily. "Message sent and acknowledged; the Raxacoricofallapatorians are sending a pair of police corvettes to collect the Slitheen. Be here in a couple of weeks."

"So! Where to now?" He beamed at the girl.

"Hang on, a couple of _weeks_? What's to keep these bloody nutters from doing a runner while the coppers are having a nice cuppa?" Rose protested.

"This." The Doctor pulled a large gleaming crystal and silver ball from his pockets. Wires trailed from it forlornly.

"What's that then?" She demanded quirking an eyebrow.

"It's their dimensional instability transduction coil." The Doctor said proudly. Rose looked at him in blank incomprehension.

He rolled his eyes. "It's their distributor cap."

"Riiighhtt." Rose droned. "So you flummoxed their warp drive, what about their impulse engines?"

He looked at her, clearly annoyed. "The Slitheen use a _hyperdrive_ Rose. Completely different principle. And they aren't impulse engines they're reactionless thrusters. Where did you learn about spaceships anyway?"

"Star Trek." She said. "So why can't they leg it with these reactionless thruster thingies?"

"Strictly local stuff. Sure, they could get to Mars maybe, or try to hide in the asteroid belt, but they're stuck in the Solar system, and they don't dare go back to Earth, not with those trigger-happy lunatics royally pissed off and ready to blast anything remotely alien. Those corvettes won't have any trouble nabbing 'em."

"Serves 'em right. The Slitheen _were _trying to blow up Earth. Again. Wait, is it "again" when this is the first go-round?" Rose crinkled her forehead in puzzlement.

"Close enough." The Doctor said off-handedly. "English really isn't suited for time travel. And speaking of, right about now old Skon should be waking up to the pickle we've put him in."

"Well, you did give him a chance to run." Rose pointed out. "Maybe someday an alien menace will actually _listen_ to you."

"I wouldn't count—"

"_This is Skon Lor-Kip Almarka-Bar Slitheen. I would speak with the Doctor."_

"Right on time." The Doctor thumbed a switch made from an antique brass doorknob.

"Skon, my old monster. What can I do for you?"

"You can return the Slitheen property you stole from us." The gravelly voice said angrily. "You have already ruined our business dealings in this sector, return the transduction coil and we will leave peacefully."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Skon." The Doctor turned serious. "There are two shiploads of police on their way here and I'd hate to tell them you were rude enough to vanish after they traveled all this way. They'd be _so_ disappointed."

"How _dare _you! We are the Slitheen! No one mocks us and lives!"

"Well, seeing as how your hyperdrive is so much modern art sculpture, at the moment I don't see what you think you can do about it."

The Doctor's voice darkened.

"I warned you Skon. I told you I'd stop you if you didn't leave Earth alone. You didn't. I don't do second chances anymore. Of course Earth might forgive you if you groveled a bit. No, a lot. Hang on—nope, on second thought I don't think groveling will actually help at all."

"Is that your final word, Doctor? You condemn us to death with a mere quip?"

"Pretty much, yeah. See, you made your own choices, Skon. You chose to come to Earth, you chose to try blowing up the planet and killing billions of innocent people, and you chose to ignore the chance I gave you to run. So, in the end, you chose to die."

"No, Doctor, I choose to _live_." The Slitheen's laughter echoed through the TARDIS control room. "You offer me two choices that lead only to death. But I choose a _third_ option! It may also lead to the death of the Slitheen, but if so we will go down proudly. _And take you with us, Doctor!_"

The Slitheen laughed again, the mockery edged with mad desperation. The Doctor's expression changed. He suddenly remembered something about the Slitheen hyperdrive that he sincerely hoped Skon _hadn't…_

"What does he mean, Doctor?" Rose asked, all humor forgotten as she saw his expression.

"He _wouldn't_." The Doctor raced to a different side of the console, staring at an old oscilloscope. "He _is_—no, no, no! _Imbecile! _Cretin! You stupid green git!" The Doctor yelled over the open com channel. "Skon, you'll kill us both! _It won't work, you bloody tosser_."

"You spoke of choices, Doctor." The alien voice grated. "This is _my _choice. Goodbye, _egg-stealer!_"

The TARDIS tilted to one side suddenly, throwing Rose and the Doctor off their feet, skidding away from the console. There was a loud _bang_ and smoke started pouring from the column, which seemed to be trying to seize up. The steady hum of the TARDIS was replaced with a fingernails-on-chalkboard screeching noise, and a bone-jarring vibration that made Rose's skin crawl.

"What's happening, Doctor?" She yelled.

"He's trying to use the TARDIS vortex field to jump start his hyperdrive!" The Doctor shouted back as he clawed up the steep slope toward the console. "But it can't work! The Slitheen's hyperdrive isn't compatible with the space-time vortex! Even if the hyperdrive fires, he'll be torn to shreds by the Spiral—and so will we!"

He began to frantically manipulate the controls. "I've got to shut down the TARDIS and force us to materialize without—oh bloody hell."

A deep toned bell began to ring. The sound was profound and somehow just as ominous as the harsh buzzing of every part of the TARDIS. Rose could tell the bell meant big trouble by the way the Doctor's face went gray and slack.

He turned to her and the look on his face scared her worse than the bell or the infernal screeching.

"I'm so sorry, Rose. I've killed us both." He said, just before a blinding light filled her eyes and she fell into blackness.


	3. 3 One Smith Too Many

Chapter 3 – One Smith Too Many

Robin and the rest of the Titans were on patrol, waiting for whatever disaster the _marisu_ had warned them about. All but Beast Boy had a super soaker slung across their back.

Robin stopped when his communicator ringtone started playing. His eyes widened when he saw who it was. The others gathered around to listen as he flipped it open.

"Watchtower calling Titan's Tower." A deep voice he knew all too well came from the speaker.

"Watchtower, this is Robin. Go ahead."

"You've got a ship incoming." The communicator said. "ETA 17 minutes, coming in from your west-northwest. Looks like it came through some kind of spatial portal. We're still analyzing the portal's energy signature, it's something new. J'onn thinks it's some kind of wormhole."

"Hostile?" Robin asked, tensing.

"Unknown. You want backup?"

"We can handle it."

"Acknowledged." There was a pause, and then the voice asked. "On a personal note—when were you planning to introduce me to your blushing bride?"

Robin's eyes widened, and then he chuckled. "Nothing gets past you, does it? Soon, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that. Watchtower out."

Beast Boy's eyes were bugging out.

"Dude, was that who I think it was?" He grabbed his hair with both hands and tugged.

"Yeah. Batman." Robin said, putting away the communicator.

"That is so _cooooooooooooool_." Beast Boy crooned. "The world's greatest detective calling us _personally_."

"Yeaaah." Robin eyed Beast Boy warily. He was acting like a star-struck fan-girl, grinning and staring blankly off into space. Robin expected him to start squealing in glee any second.

"Please, who is this Batman you speak of?" Starfire asked. "Why would he expect you to introduce me? Is he a close friend?"

"You never told her about _Batman_? Dude, what is _wrong _with you?" Beast Boy stared at him like he'd grown a second head.

"Um I guess the subject never came up." Robin rubbed the back of his head. "Star, Batman is sort of my second father. He took me in when my parents were killed. He trained me."

"Then _of course_ we must visit him immediately, Robin! I did not know you had a _k'norfka_. I am filled with joy at the thought of meeting him!" She hugged Robin, much to the other Titans amusement.

"Anyway, we've got an incoming bogey to deal with first. Guess Mr. Smith wasn't lying to us after all." Robin said, breaking away from Starfire as politely as he could. "Star, you and Raven get up high and try to spot where it comes down. Cyborg, can you tap into the Tower's sensors from here? Lock onto that ship?"

"I can run the sensors through my circuits no problem." Cyborg said. "As for tracking that ship, dunno. Should be able to unless they got some kinda stealth gear."

"Do your best. Beast Boy, you're with me. Titans, _go_."

The two girls soared into the air and Cyborg busied himself tracking the ship. Robin set off toward the bridge, knowing he could get a good view of the coast. Beast Boy morphed into a wolf and trotted after his leader.

Meanwhile, on top of a bluff a tall blue box stood innocuously. The view was picturesque, and overlooked a strait spanned by a huge suspension bridge. It was a very peaceful scene, almost idyllic, with birdsong and a gentle wind.

Inside, the scene was decidedly less peaceful. The TARDIS control room was filled with thick acrid smoke and the Doctor was just regaining consciousness. He coughed, looking around. The room was lit only by a dim and flickering red light, an indication the TARDIS was running on emergency power. He struggled to his feet and checked some instruments on the console.

"Ah, old girl you saved my bacon yet again." He murmured, patting the console affectionately. "Looks like you did yourself a mischief in the process too." Satisfied his ship could handle her own repairs until he could tend to her, he started looking for Rose.

He found her sprawled in a corner, with a bump on her head, out cold.

"Wake up, Rose." He said loudly in her ear. She started to stir fitfully. He looked her over carefully, testing here and there to make sure no bones were broken. He looked up to find her eyes open and watching him with an incredulous look.

"Are you _groping_ me, Doctor?" She asked, half scandalized, half laughing. "'Cause I don't think that's allowed in Heaven."

She coughed suddenly, from the fumes. "Cor, that don't smell like Heaven! Did we end up in the other place? Fah, that's _rank_ that is." She tried to sit up, but needed the Doctor's help. He frowned.

"Rose, look at me. Straight at me. Do you have a headache? Blurry vision? Are you seeing double?"

"No, but this lump is _really_ tender. And I'm as weak as a kitten. Are we dead?"

"Shouldn't think so." The doctor said. "But honestly I've no idea why not. Skon's ship destabilized our vortex field. It forced the TARDIS into the Spiral and that should have been the end of us. I couldn't materialize because his ship had interwoven its drive field with ours."

"What?" She looked at him blankly.

"It's like this. The TARDIS makes a sort of whirlpool through time and space, a wormhole. We call that the Vortex. Normally we stay in the middle, where it's calm, see? Skon's ship latched onto us and slammed us into the side of the wormhole. That bit is the Spiral and its vicious nasty stuff. Not even the TARDIS should have been able to withstand the Spiral."

"Why's everything so dark and red?"

"We're on emergency power. Afraid the old girl pulled something. She's not as young as she was, you know."

"So if we're not dead, where are we?"

"Well," he looked around "we aren't in the Vortex so we must have materialized. If I had to guess I'd say we're floating in space somewhere near Earth."

"What about the Slitheen?" Rose tried arching her back; thankful that her weakness was starting to fade. She discovered several bruises to add to her inventory of woes.

"If the TARDIS is this beat up I'm betting the Slitheen are nothing more than a smear of sub-atomic particles half a light-year long by now. I _tried_ to tell them, but does anybody ever listen to me?" The Doctor huffed. Then he stood, pulling her to her feat.

"I think I can get the scanner working so we can at least see where we are." He said. Taking the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket he started tinkering under the console.

"Rose, can you see if that's got it?"

"Yeah, there's a picture." She started to snicker.

"What?" He poked his head up and looked at the screen.

"Well blow _me!_" The Doctor grinned. "The old girl got us landed right proper! Earth as I live and breathe."

Rose coughed again.

"Speaking of breathing, Doctor, can we open the door and get some fresh air in here? It's pretty thick."

"Right. Where did I put that handle? Handle, handle…ah, got it!" He pulled out what looked like a hand crank for a five hands and fitted it into an inconspicuous hole next to the doors.

"Lend a hand here, will you? These doors are _heavy_ when you got to shift the things manually."

Rose doubted she'd be much help in her current state but pitched in willingly enough.

"What the _hell_ are these doors made of?" She gasped half an hour of intense labor later. The doors were barely gapped enough for them to slip between.

"An alloy you humans have never heard of and couldn't make if you had." The Doctor was panting as he rested. "If the power fails the doors are the last defense for the TARDIS. Of course they're heavy. Armor always is."

"Can we get out now? I'm gonna faint in a minute."

"Of course. How are you feeling?"

"You're joking." She said flatly staggering to her feet. "Let's get _out _of here and I'll feel loads better!"

She wormed her way between the doors with great difficulty and silently glared at the Doctor when he effortlessly slipped between them.

"Too much curry then?" He asked innocently as he opened the outer doors.

"I'll show _you _curry, you prat." She growled and pushed past the Doctor into the open air. She took a deep lungful of the warm sweet air and exhaled in sheer bliss.

"Want to tell me who you are and what you're doing here?" A strange voice asked. It had unfriendly overtones, with definite _expectations. _Like being answered immediately and politely without any lip, thank-you-very-much.

With sinking heart Rose turned, expecting to see a policeman, probably with drawn pistol. What she saw instead was a boy, probably no older than sixteen in a bright red and green circus outfit with a yellow lined _cape _no less, pointing one of those oversized squirt-gun rifles at her. And he had a _precious_ little mask over his eyes, hiding them. She couldn't help it, she burst into laughter.

That seemed to annoy the boy, who raised the rifle threateningly.

"I want answers. _Now_." He snapped. "I won't ask again. Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"He's a _clown_." Rose said, unable to stop laughing. "A clown with a squirt gun! Whatcha gonna do, little boy? Hose us down if we won't play with you?"

"Rose." The Doctor said warningly, staring fixedly behind her. A distinctly unfriendly animalgrowl sobered her up in a hurry. She spun to come face to face with a large wolf, baring its teeth not three feet from her. The fact that it was green didn't make it look the _least _bit comical. She shrieked and leaped back, taking shelter behind the Doctor.

"Wo-wo-wolf!" She stammered, suddenly sweating. She was thinking about the werewolf that had tried to tear her to ribbons less than a week before.

"I _hate_ werewolves! Quick, the mistletoe! Where's the mistletoe? Tell me you have some in your pockets! You always have stuff in your pockets!"

The wolf stopped growling and traded a perplexed look with the boy.

"Sorry, fresh out." The Doctor said softly. "Look, we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot, so why don't we start over?" He was speaking carefully, and there was no humor in his voice.

"Who _are _you?" The boy asked, exasperated. "It's a simple question."

"I'm—" The Doctor started to answer when Rose poked him sharply in the back, reminding him aliens weren't likely to be welcomed with open arms right now. "—John Smith and this is Rose."

The reaction he got certainly wasn't the one he expected. The boy relaxed, lowering the rifle. The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. Unlike Rose he didn't think the squirt rifle was filled with water…

Rose hadn't stopped staring at the wolf while she hid behind him, so the shriek in his ear made him wince. She was pointing at the wolf.

"He—he turned into a boy! He _is _a werewolf!" The Doctor snapped his eyes toward the wolf, suddenly alarmed. But instead of a wolf there was an alien boy with green skin and pointed ears, dressed in a purple and black jumpsuit.

"Hmm." He didn't recognize the boy's species, but the fact aliens were on Earth with the current unpleasantness afoot did not bode well. There was also the fact that he was fully dressed. None of the shape-shifting species the Doctor had heard of possessed such convenient attire. A hologram perhaps? Although it bothered him he didn't recognize the boy's species. He thought he was familiar with every race in the Milky Way galaxy.

"Mr. Smith you should have said who you were immediately. You wore a different body the last time you were here." The boy was staring at the TARDIS behind them. "Did you know your box is smoking?"

"What? Oh, yes, bit of a bother, actually. Ran into some trouble on the way here." The Doctor said automatically. "The old thing's always breaking down, but I'm a big softie when it comes to her, really. Can't bear to part with it."

_Wore a different body?_ He didn't remember ever visiting this pair before. That meant he must have done so in a different regeneration sometime in the future. He really must remember to have a talk with himself for being so inconsiderate. He could at least have left himself a note…

"Is this your wife?" The boy asked. The Doctor discreetly trod on her foot as she opened her mouth.

"Uh—right. That's me, Rose Smith. Your friend doesn't bite does he?"

"Dude, that's just plain obnoxious." The green boy glared at her. "What do you think I am—an _animal?_ That's humanist!"

"Oh. Sorry." Rose said, taken aback. "How did you do that? Become a wolf I mean? I thought only werewolves could do that."

The green boy rolled his eyes. "There's no such thing as werewolves! Besides I change into lots of different animals, not just wolves."

"Beast Boy, I'm sure Mrs. Smith didn't mean to be rude." The older boy said hastily, glancing uneasily at the Doctor. He slung the squirt-rifle over his back and reached under his cape to pull out a round yellow and black object.

_Now that's interesting. He's scared of offending me. I wonder why?_ The Doctor thought to himself as the boy flipped open the device.

"Cyborg, this is Robin. Have you spotted the ship yet?"

"Yep. Picked it up about twenty miles out. Tracked it to just off shore when it vanished. Looked like it landed, it was moving pretty slow when I lost it."

"Ok, join up with me. Looks like Mr. Smith is back, and this time he brought his wife with him."

"Ho boy." Cyborg's voice echoed his unease. "I thought he said him meeting us again wouldn't be a good idea?"

"Guess he changed his mind." Robin said mildly. "How long till you get here?"

"About ten minutes."

"See you then."

"Friends of yours, _dear?_" Rose whispered in the Doctor's ear. "You are _so _going to get it when this is over!"

"Never laid eyes on them before." He whispered back. "And I _know_ I'd remember the green one. There's always something about the green ones."

"Then how come they know you?" She demanded, poking him in the back—not gently. "And what was that crack about you wearing a different body?"

"Well, either they have me confused with somebody else, or I'll be coming back here sometime in the future." The Doctor murmured. "Did you notice they're treating me _very _carefully? I must have impressed them the last time I'll be here."

Rose frowned, trying to work out the bizarre tense shift. "You're right. English isn't good for time travel." She said. "So now what?"

They watched as the boy made adjustments to the radio.

"Starfire, Raven, come in."

"Yes Robin?" Starfire's voice answered him. "I wish to report that the ship landed on the ocean and immediately submerged. Raven and I have marked the spot, but the unknown ship will undoubtedly move somewhere else under water."

"Acknowledged. Star, you and Raven meet up with me. Cyborg's on his way too. Mr. Smith is back—along with his wife."

"Wonderful! I wish to thank Mr. Smith properly for all that he has done for us. We shall join you shortly!" Her happiness told the Doctor this Starfire, at least, might be a potential ally. He had a feeling he was going to need all the allies he could get. A nasty suspicion was growing in him that something was seriously wrong here…

"So, can I ask why you changed your mind, or are you going to be all _marisu_ on us?" Robin asked, tucking away his radio.

"What? Oh, sorry. Yes, I'm afraid I'm going to have to play things close to the vest, old chap. Loose lips sink ships, and all that." The Doctor babbled, his mind racing to put the clues together.

The boy was obviously part of a larger group, and both "Cyborg" and "Starfire" had mentioned a ship. He had a sinking feeling it was Skon's ship. The Slitheen must have survived the Spiral through the same miracle the TARDIS had.

Offhand the Doctor couldn't think of a better recipe for disaster than the Slitheen on Earth with most of the governments of the world ready to blast Skon and his merry band of monsters with nuclear weapons if they showed so much as a whisker out of hiding.

This didn't explain why an alien was teaming up with a circus performer—or why the boy was armed with—

"Excuse me. I couldn't help noticing your weapon. Pretty unusual. I'll wager it isn't filled with water, right?"

"Nope. We took your advice, dude. Vinegar." The green one, Beast Boy said, grinning. "I've been racking my brains trying to figure out how vinegar is supposed to let us defeat the bad guys."

The Doctor blinked, shocked to his core. Rose's face also registered shock and she spoke before he could stop her.

"He told you to put vinegar in that oversized squirt-gun?" She started to grin manically. "Mum sure could have used one of those! She had to—"

"_Sweetheart_." The Doctor said forcefully. The endearment did the trick, Rose turned to face him very slowly. It reminded the Doctor unpleasantly of a weapon turret coming to bear on a target. He mimed closing a zipper across his mouth.

"Oh, right. _Right_. Top secret. Sorry, forget I said anything." Rose said as she caught on. "Don't want to ruin things."

Robin frowned. "Look, I know you're all about letting people have choices and not interfering but we've got an alien ship out there somewhere. Can you at least tell me if they're hostile?"

"Oh, I think it's safe to say that ship is hostile." The Doctor nodded. "In fact, on a scale of hostility I'd put that ship somewhere north of Armageddon."

"Dude, you're saying it's up to us to save the world?" Beast Boy asked. He swelled with self-importance. "Well, won't be the first time."

"You're no hero." Robin said to the Doctor. "You made that crystal clear last time. So why are you here? Want a ringside seat to watch the fun? Should we make you some popcorn?" The scorn in his voice was palpable.

"Uh, John?" Rose said, staring at the sky. The Doctor ignored her, staring at Robin in confusion and more than a bit put out.

"Ringside seat? Listen, you cheeky monkey, I was saving worlds long before your pitiful excuse for a—"

"_Sweetheart._" Rose shouted. Startled, he looked at her. Wordlessly she pointed to the sky. Fearing the Slitheen ship was coming he looked up. And blinked.

"Well, now _there's_ something you don't see every day." He murmured. He watched as two alien girls (very shapely ones, he noticed) flew down to join them. The must have been using antigravity devices because neither one had wings. Though with the way they were dressed he couldn't figure out where they were hiding them.

One of them, a red head with long hair and orange skin looked around in confusion.

"Where is John Smith?" She asked.

"That would be me." The Doctor waved a hand in the air and smiled.

Before he could react the girl squealed and leaped toward him, gathering him up in a bear hug.

"I wish to give you many thanks for bringing Robin and I together!"

The Doctor gave a surprised wheeze as the girl squeezed the air out of him. It was like being hugged by a boa constrictor. He felt his ribs creak. _Poor Robin. _He thought, on the edge of passing out.

Starfire released him and he staggered.

"Don't mention it." He said thru gritted teeth. "You're a _healthy _girl aren't you? Quite ping-pong!"

"I do not understand." Starfire cocked her head. "It is true my health is robust. But why am I like a game of table tennis?"

"Sorry, I meant you're very strong." The Doctor said.

"I see. Yes, I am stronger than I appear." Starfire turned to Rose. "I bring you joyful greetings, wife of John Smith!"

"Wotcher?" Rose said with a smile.

"I am afraid I do not speak that language. Do you not speak the English?"

Rose burst out laughing. "Yes, yes I do. Wotcher is a way of saying hello where I come from."

"Then hello to you, friend Rose. May I introduce you to _my_ friends?" She took Rose by the arm and effortlessly dragged her toward the cloaked girl, who lowered her hood and shook her head ruefully.

"May I present my friend, Raven. Raven, this is Rose."

"Hi." Raven extended a hand which Rose shook, grinning at the blue haired girl.

"Starfire you shouldn't—" Raven started to say, still shaking Rose's hand, when her eyes suddenly blazed white.

"Bad Wolf." She said quite distinctly. Then the white glow faded and she blinked. "That was different." She said in a neutral monotone.

The effect on Rose was electric. The color drained from her face and she pulled away from the two alien girls. The Doctor frowned and moved toward Rose, who was obviously distressed. The blonde girl hugged him when he got close.

"I thought that was _over_." She was crying. He could feel her shuddering. "Why is it still following us? Make it stop_, _please just make it _stop_!"

The boy and his alien companions looked at the Doctor holding Rose with confusion. That's when he felt a telepathic probe from the blue haired girl. She immediately staggered back, a look of shock on her face.

"Hang on!" He said indignantly. "You can't go poking about in other people's heads uninvited! Besides, my mind's a mess. Hasn't seen the maid in a donkey's. You go in there you might not come out for days."

"That's not John Smith." Raven declared, visibly controlling herself. "I don't know who he is, but he's not human."

"Oh, like you lot have room to talk!" The Doctor scoffed. "Besides, my name _is _John Smith. Well, one of them—it's a cast of thousands, really."

"You may be _a _John Smith, but you aren't _our _John Smith. You aren't a _marisu_." Raven said levelly. "Who are you? What are you?"

"I'm the Doctor and this is my companion, Rose Tyler." He said. "Rose, the good news is you didn't put the words in her head. Our blue haired friend found the words in _your_ head. She's a telepath."

Rose wiped the tears from her face even as she glared. "Hey, you! Why'd you have to go and do that for? Didn't give me half a turn! _Warn_ a body next time!"

"Sorry. I don't know why that happened." Raven apologized. "I didn't do it deliberately." Her eyes narrowed. "Hey! Stop trying to distract us. Who are you? What's your relationship to that ship? And Doctor who?"

"Well, as long as we're playing twenty questions, what's a band of three different alien species doing on Earth _now_? Especially teaming up with a circus performer? What planets are you from? Because I don't recognize any of your species—and that's saying quite a lot believe you me! Finally, what the devil is a _marisu?_"

"Wait a sec! _Aliens_?" Beast Boy said indignantly. "Raven and I are human, whoever you are! Star's the only alien here."

"Technically speaking, Beast Boy, I'm only half human." Raven said coolly.

"You go first, Doctor." Robin said firmly. "And I'm _not_ a circus performer. Not anymore."

"Right." The Doctor said, thinking quickly. "Short version. That ship is Skon's ship." His announcement was met with blank stares.

"You know—the Slitheen? I had just disabled their hyperdrive when Skon pulled a fast one and tried to jump start his drive using mine. It didn't work, so here we are. Now unless we're _very_ clever and deal with Skon ourselves your president is likely to lob a nuclear missile into San Francisco Bay just to make sure Skon and his merry monsters are hovis. And if _that_ happens then a lot of innocent people will end up dead. Us included."

He beamed. "Any questions, children?"

"Where is San Francisco Bay?" Starfire asked curiously, holding up her hand. "And why would the president use a nuclear weapon to kill this Skon when he has never met him?"

"What are Slitheen?" Raven asked.

"What's hovis mean?" Beast Boy asked.

The Doctor's beaming expression turned into one of utter confusion.

"_That's_ the Golden Gate Bridge standing there." He protested. "I'd know it anywhere! Meaning this is San Francisco and _that_," He pointed dramatically out at the strait, "is San Francisco Bay."

"I'm not that up on American landmarks." Rose spoke up. "But even _I_ know what the Golden Gate Bridge looks like."

"That's not the Golden Gate Bridge." Robin said slowly, looking at them. "It's the Kermit Moore bridge. This is Jump City, and that's Chrysopylae Bay."

"Really?" The Doctor blinked. "Oh, bugger. What year is this?"

"2007." Robin said. "Let me guess, time traveler, right?"

"Very good." The Doctor said approvingly. "Nobody ever gets that straight away."

"We have dealt with time travelers in the past." Starfire sniffed disapprovingly. "A thief who came to change history. We defeated him."

The Doctor nodded. "Well done! Can't be having thieves disturbing the timelines. We'd never know if it was last Tuesday or the ides of March. Hang on, did you say _2007_?"

"Yes." Robin said.

"That can't be right! In 2007 I _know_ they were called the Golden Gate Bridge and San Francisco."

"No, it's always been Jump City and the Kermit Moore bridge." Robin said. "It's never been San Francisco."

"Yo, Robin!" A voice called out. "What'd I miss?" An armored figure was approaching at a jog.

"Cyberman?" Rose asked, eyeing the oncoming figure.

"No—no I don't think so." The Doctor said reassuringly. "Cybermen have no personality, Rose. This fellow's simply oozing with it."

The man reached them and the Doctor's eyes widened. He took in the streamlined armor, the sophisticated electronics; the fact face the young man's face was half flesh and half steel and made the obvious (to him) conclusion.

"Hang about! Earth won't develop that level of technology for another 400 years! Where did you get that getup?" The Doctor walked around the confused teen, assessing. "Oh, but what _workmanship_. It's absolutely beautiful. Whoever designed this really knew their stuff!"

"Thanks, man. Who are you again?" Cyborg put one robotic hand on the Doctor's shoulder to stop him.

"I'm the Doctor. I take it you're Cyborg?"

"Last time I checked." The black teen said drily. "And quit checking out my hardware like it was fresh off the showroom floor. It's creepy."

"You're being rude again, Doctor." Rose informed him.

"Am I? Sorry. Look, none of this makes any _sense_." The Doctor said, running one hand through his hair. "You—", he pointed at Cyborg, "definitely shouldn't be walking around with the level of technology that suit represents—"

"Body". Cyborg interrupted him.

"I'm sorry?" The Doctor asked, puzzled.

"It's not an armored suit, it's my _body_. I had an accident, ok? The doctors started me off with basic prosthetic hardware, I've been upgrading my systems ever since."

"_You _created this technology?" The Doctor asked, astounded. "That's brilliant! You humans never cease to amaze me!" He grinned from ear to ear.

"Hang on, where was I? Oh yeah. There's _you_," he nodded at Cyborg, "and then there's _you_," He pointed at Starfire. "I have no idea what species you are, and that's simply _impossible_. I know every intelligent species in seventeen different galaxies by sight."

"And then there's you two." He pointed at Raven and Beast Boy. "That wolf weighed more than our green friend here by a good half. Not to mention, of the eighty-three hundred known shape-shifting species, not _one _of them carries their wardrobe about after they change shape. Yet he appeared fully dressed in less than a second. Which brings us to _you_," He pointed at Raven. "What's your story, sunshine? Half human, is it? What's the other half?"

"Demon." She said calmly.

"I'm sorry?" He gaped at her.

"My father is a demon. Trigon the Terrible." Raven said evenly. "Also called Trigon the Ravager, Skath, or Ddrez."

"Noooo—nope, sorry. Doesn't ring a bell." The Doctor said, cleaning out an ear with his little finger. "Add it all up and what do you get? Anyone? Rose?"

"Don't look at me. I got lost when they said that wasn't the Golden Gate Bridge." Rose said. "Where _are_ we, Doctor?"

"Haven't the foggiest." He said cheerfully. "Not on Earth, at any rate."

"Um, Dude, this _is _Earth." Beast Boy said, trying to make sense of anything the Doctor was saying.

The Doctor waved him away. "Pish-posh. Do you know how many species call their world a name that translates to Earth? _All_ of them. Except for water worlds, of course. They tend to use Water."

"Hang on. You, Robin, this _is_ America, isn't it?" Rose asked. Robin nodded. "See? If this is America then this _has _to be Earth, right?"

"You've got a point." The Doctor admitted grudgingly. "What's the largest city in America, Robin?"

"Gotham City." Robin answered, his own mind sorting through the impossibilities.

"Wait, what?" Rose said. "I thought it was New York?"

"New York is a state." Robin said patiently. "You sound like you're British."

"I am. See, Doctor? There's a Great Britain here! What's the capitol?"

"Of England? London." Robin answered.

"Sounds like you folks are from the universe next door." Cyborg said casually.

"Wait, what?" The Doctor did a double take. "What did you say?"

"I said it sounds like you folks are from the universe next door. We get inter-dimensional travelers through here all the time." Cyborg repeated.

"_Really?_" The Doctor asked, fascinated. "That _would _tend to explain things."

"Not to me." Beast Boy said, rubbing his head. "This kind of stuff makes my brain hurt."

"What he said." Rose seconded.

"Rose, this _is_ Earth, just not your Earth." The Doctor said. "We're in a completely different universe, a parallel dimension. Both universes have a Golden Gate Bridge, but in one it's named the Kermit Moore Bridge. See?"

"How'd we get here then?"

"Must have been when Skon tried to highjack the TARDIS's vortex field." The Doctor said. "The Spiral's never been that well understood. My guess is the dog's breakfast Skon's ship made of the combined drive fields must have ripped a hole through the dimensional boundary. Good thing for us too, or we'd be smeared across a dozen parsecs and a thousand years right now."

Rose shuddered. "It was bad enough as it was, Doctor."

"So let me get this straight." Robin said slowly. "You crippled the bad guy's ship and they did something to get away that pulled you both into our universe?"

"Got it in one." The Doctor nodded, grinning. Then he sobered. "The Slitheen are a nasty bunch. If we don't stop them they could take over the planet, maybe even blow it up."

"No! They shall not blow up my _home!_" Starfire said, and her eyes started glowing green. Rose gaped at her as she rose into the air, green globes of light forming around her fists.

"Calm down, Starfire." Robin said. "We won't let them get away with it. The Teen Titans _will _stop them."

"Of course, my husband." Starfire settled back to the ground, the glow fading.

"How many Slitheen are there?" Robin asked.

The Doctor shrugged. "A whole clan full. Maybe forty adults and twenty or so younger ones."

"And forty adult Slitheen can take over the world?" Robin asked skeptically.

"Given enough time, yah." The Doctor said. "See, they're hunters. They hunt down people and kill 'em. Then they skin the bodies and make a suit out of it. They have a collar that lets them shrink down enough to fit inside."

"What?" Robin's face turned hard. "Are you telling me these Slitheen hunt _people_?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm telling you." The Doctor said, his humor vanishing. "They like to kill somebody in the government, and then work their way up. One managed to become Prime Minister of Great Britain. Nearly started a nuclear war on Rose's Earth."

"Why?" Raven asked.

"They were going to sell the radioactive remains of Earth as fuel for starships. Rose and I stopped them.

"Mickey helped." Rose interjected firmly.

"Yes, well he did at that." The Doctor waved her interruption away. "Anyway, thanks to a well placed missile all but one of the Slitheen ceased to be a problem for the universe. But _that_ one escaped and became mayor of Cardiff. She was planning to build a flawed nuclear power plant on top of a time-space rift, let the reactor blow it open, and then ride the resulting wave off Earth to a more advanced planet. Sucking Earth into oblivion in the process."

"These Slitheen are not _nice_." Starfire said, hissing the last word. "They are worse than the Gordanians ever were. Worse than any creature I have ever heard of."

"In the big picture, as threats go, the Slitheen are pretty small potatoes." The Doctor said dismissively. "Unless they happen to your planet, mind you. Then they're a nasty piece of work and no mistake."

"Why vinegar?" Robin asked. "How does vinegar help us?"

"Slitheen come from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius." The Doctor said. "Like all life forms on that planet they're calcium based. Large amounts of vinegar cause them to explode. Sort of like a combination of sulfuric acid and nitroglycerin."

"_What?_" Robin exclaimed, horrified. The Doctor looked at him curiously. The rest of the group were equally appalled. Starfire actually looked sick to her stomach.

"Dude, that's so wrong." Beast Boy said quietly, shaking his head.

"How did you know to use vinegar anyway?" The Doctor asked curiously. "You said something about John Smith telling you?"

"And I was feeling joyous and thankful to that _clorbag varblernelk_." Starfire said in shocked disbelief. "He seemed so _nice_. Why would John Smith tell us to do such a horrible thing? He did not warn us of the consequences!"

The Doctor noted that the TARDIS had not translated Starfire's swear words to anyone but him. _Make a sailor blush, she would_. He thought to himself.

"What's the problem?" Rose asked impatiently. "Yeah, it's a nasty way to die. So? One of those things tried to eat my _mother_. It chased her into my boyfriend's flat and took its sweet time _stalking_ them. If the Doctor hadn't told them about the vinegar she'd be _dead_. Instead that thing is dead and good riddance!"

"You don't understand." Robin said. "You're a civilian. We're _superheroes. _It's one thing for civilians to kill in self-defense. We can't. Not _ever_."

"I am not a civilian." Rose said, getting in Robin's face. "I'm the Bad Wolf. When the Dalek emperor stole Earth away and was going to destroy the entire freaking _universe_ I looked into the heart of the TARDIS and I took what it gave me and I poured it into the head of the Dalek Emperor and the Dalek fleet and I _dissolved them into dust._" She glared at him. "So don't you ever call me a civilian, you preening, pompous peacock, you got that?"

"Whoa, _dude_." Beast Boy said. "You got _schooled._"

Irritated Robin glared at Beast who prudently ducked behind Cyborg.

"I understand not wanting to kill." The Doctor said. "I really do. Every time I save a world it seems like somebody dies. I try never to kill my enemies, but they always insist on it. Most of the time they force me to kill them. I've killed _billions_ in a very long life and I regret every single one of them."

He looked at them from eyes none of them could meet, not even Raven.

"Now let me ask you one question. When those Slitheen murder someone in this city _and they will_, what will you do then? How are you going to stop them? They're eight feet tall, made of living rock, and can shrug off small arms fire. There's ten of them for every one of you. And they won't hesitate to kill you—in fact they'll _enjoy_ it. They hunt for pleasure, these Slitheen."

"They are ruthless, pitiless bastards, utterly indifferent to anyone who isn't from their home planet. And even _then_ they're merciless to anyone not in their own clan."

"Oh, yes. Their only weakness is vinegar."

Robin shook his head.

"We won't kill them. That would make us no better than them." Robin said. "We have powers others don't. We're stronger, faster—more dangerous. But we aren't _better_." He stared at the Doctor.

"Any one of us could kill the criminals we fight, especially the ordinary ones. Together we could kill just about anything that moves."

"Let me tell you something, Doctor. It would be a lotsimpler if we _could _kill bank robbers, or super-villains. One fight and we'd be _done_. We'd never have to face that particular scum again."

Robin's face was grim.

"I've faced some of the worst psychotic villains on Earth. The Joker, for one. He's a mass-murdering psychopath. I have _nightmares_ about what he's done. But he's still alive because Batman and I didn't kill him. Superheroes catch bad guys and throw them in jail. We're not judge, jury _or _executioner. The authorities aren't that thrilled with us as it is. They tolerate us because we're the only ones who can stand up to the super-villains they can't handle. And we don't kill anybody—_ever_."

"The line is _clear_ and I won't ever cross it. Because if I do on that day _I'll _be the one who dies. Whatever survives won't be _me_, it'll be a cold-blooded killer."

"Good for you. A noble sentiment and I mean that quite sincerely." The Doctor said quietly. "So, how do you propose to stop them then?"

"The same way we do every super-villain." Robin said quietly. "Find them, beat them senseless, and let the authorities deal with them."

"Beat them _senseless?_ Are you insane?" The Doctor asked in shock. "A full grown Slitheen could tear the lot of you apart with one arm tied behind its back! They are _living rock_. You'd break your hand if you hit one!"

"We've fought living rock before." Robin said confidently.

"Yeah, Cinderblock is ten feet tall and weighs what, four tons?" Cyborg said. "Robin and Starfire took care of him the last time he broke out. Didn't even need the rest of us."

"Really?" The Doctor looked at the diminutive Robin and the slender Starfire. "That's remarkable." He said in a neutral tone.

"Cinderblock is—somewhat limited in intelligence." Starfire said. "Strategy is quite effective against him."

"Well Slitheen are cunning and vicious and almost invulnerable to most weapons." The Doctor said. "They're fast too. They pounce on their prey from behind or from hiding and _never_ fight fair. They have six inch long claws. The females can breathe poison gas or shoot a poisoned spike from their fingers."

"How many of you are willing to die? Because I guarantee you if you go up against the Slitheen none of you would survive."

"The two of you did it." Raven pointed out.

"We snuck in with the TARDIS and sabotaged their ship." The Doctor said. "And even then they almost caught us. Even against one Slitheen what you're talking about is suicide. There are forty or fifty adults on that ship. Even the youngest child could kill you in a one-on-one fight."

"I believe you underestimate us, Doctor." Starfire said calmly. "We have battled monsters and villains on this planet and others. We are not helpless children. Thank you for your concern but it is unfounded."

"Ok, so you've got some high-tech toys. Antigravity belts or the like, Cyborg's prosthetics. Beast Boy's wolf. It isn't close to being enough."

"Dude, we're the _Teen Titans_." Beast Boy said. "We've kicked the butt of every bad guy to cross paths with us for _years_."

"Can you find that ship?" Robin asked.

"If my TARDIS was in working order, yes. Unfortunately she's had a hard day and it will take some time for her self-repair systems to right the damage the Spiral did." The Doctor said. "But even if I could find that ship there's nothing you could do. I won't lead children to their deaths."

"Don't suppose you could use that whatsit in your pocket could you, Doctor?" Rose asked.

"Well, if I had a proper workshop I might be able to whip up something. Their hyperdrive is the ship's main power source. Even without the transduction coil the drive can still supply power. I should be able to trace it. Might be able to come up with some kind of non-lethal weapon to immobilize them, too."

"Like a Taser you mean?" Rose asked.

"Yes, exactly—wait a minute! That's brilliant! Rose you're a genius!" He grinned, and then sobered immediately. "But we don't have a proper workshop." He sighed.

The Titans looked at each other. Cyborg raised an eyebrow and Robin nodded decisively.

"Doc, I might just have what you're looking for." Cyborg put one armored arm over the man's shoulder. "Let me tell you about Titan's Tower…"


	4. 4 Nex Venator Procul Nox Noctis

Chapter 4 – Nex Venator Procul Nox Noctis

"Oh, my. Cyborg my friend this is brilliant! Absolutely top drawer. Would you _look _at this place, Rose?" The Doctor spun in place, arms thrown wide.

"Yeah. Very machiney." Rose agreed with a straight face. "Got cranes and workbenches and everything."

The Doctor and Cyborg gave her an identical Look, the Look reserved by men for women who failed to appreciate a really fine piece of grease-lubricated, chrome-plated steel sophistication.

"How's your grasp of hyper-dimensional physics, my mechanically enhanced friend?"

"Dunno. The T-ship uses a quark-tachyon pulse emitter so I didn't have to mess with hyperspace."

"Oh, that takes me back! Quark-tachyon pulse emitter? Simple, efficient, _and_ compact." The Doctor enthused. "Mind you, it's a trifle slow, but overall not a bad trade off. What's your coil efficiency?"

Rose traded a look of her own with Raven as Cyborg opened his mouth.

"Why don't we leave the two of you messing about down here?" Rose interrupted the incipient geek-fest. "Me, I could murder a cuppa. And I wouldn't say no to the odd biscuit."

"I'm game. Been a while since lunch." Beast Boy said with a big grin. "Rose, you like tofu?"

"On occasion." She answered. Beast Boy's grin got wider and Robin chuckled.

"I suppose _somebody_ besides Beast Boy had to." He commented. "Cyborg we'll bring you down something."

"Great! As long as it's not tofu." Cyborg said, powering up a monitor. When the others left he and the Doctor were deep in conversation, huddled over the computer screen.

Rose got more than a simple cookie. Beast Boy managed to surprise everyone with a passable tofu ramen. They spent the meal cautiously feeling each other out. By the time Raven had taken some Salisbury steaks to Cyborg and the Doctor the Titans and Rose were trading war stories.

"And she ended up knighting the Doctor and making me Dame Rose of the Powell Estate, and then banishing us from the Empire." Rose said. "She was _not _amused!"

The others were laughing at her story, Beast Boy literally rolling on the floor.

"And the best part? I won a tenner off the Doctor!" Rose finished triumphantly.

"Hey, does that mean you're a knight?" Beast Boy asked eagerly. Rose cocked her head.

"I guess so. Though I don't think I get to dress up in armor or anything. Dunno, really."

"Wow, now we have a knight _and_ a princess, right here in Titan's Tower!" Beast Boy said excitedly. He grinned from ear to ear.

"Princess?" Rose asked curiously.

"Yes, I am a Princess of the Royal House of Tameran." Starfire said casually. "Although I believe I also have the title of Grand Ruler Emeritus. At least that is what John Smith said. Galfor, my _k'norfka_, is the current Grand Ruler."

"Yeah, I been meanin' to ask you about that. Who's this other John Smith then?" Rose leaned forward. "He must have been really something if he's anything like the Doctor."

Starfire's eyes started to glow. "He took us to a different universe and told us many things. I wonder if anything that—_person_—told us was true at all."

"Whoa, Star, calm down." Robin said raising his hands.

"He deceived us! He would have made us _murderers_, my husband! On my world such a person would be put to death!" She lapsed into a string of Tameranean that Rose bet was profanity. She was impressed, despite not knowing what the alien words meant the sheer venom was awe inspiring.

_"Starfire_." Robin said forcefully. Starfire blinked, the brilliant green glow fading from her eyes.

"I'm not condoning what he did. But at least he warned us. We'll stop them, Star. But if the worst happens—now the authorities know how to stop them too."

"There's a cheery thought." Rose said. "Look, I admit maybe the Doctor underestimated you. Some of the stories you lot told me were _amazing_. But don't make the mistake of underestimating the Slitheen. They're nasty things, and smart too. They are very, _very_ dangerous."

"If we could handle my father," Raven said coming back into the room, "Then we can handle these Slitheen. Besides, you and the Doctor are our ace in the hole."

"Kind of nice to have allies." Rose said, turning to smile at the blue-haired girl. "Usually the Doctor and I stumble into the middle of trouble and have to save the day while running away from the monsters."

"Sorry about before." Raven said. "I'm not usually that clumsy."

"Not to worry." Rose assured her. "I was being a bit of a wet Nellie about it. But that whole Bad Wolf thing was—well, it was like nothing you could ever understand. For that few brief minutes I was a _goddess_. I could see all of time and space. I literally had the power to do _anything_. It was wonderful and terrifying and if the Doctor hadn't taken the power away it would have burned me to ashes." She shuddered.

"I never _ever _want to feel like that again. Even thinking about it gives me the screaming abdabs. That's why I lost it when I thought it might be starting all over again."

"Believe it or not," Raven said, "I can relate. My father tried to use me to end the world." She shivered just the smallest bit. "It wasn't—pleasant. If I thought it was happening again—" She looked at Rose.

"Let's just say I know how you feel, and leave it at that, all right?"

"Friends?" Rose said, holding out her hand. Raven studied her a moment, then held out her own hand.

"Friends." She agreed, shocking the other Titans. Raven _never _made friends with a stranger so quickly.

"Whoa, _dude!"_ Beast Boy exclaimed. "Raven, you _never_ do that! What's the deal?"

"The deal is none of your business, Beast Boy." She said calmly, settling into a chair. "Just because I'm creepy doesn't mean I'm a complete paranoid."

"I believe the expression is "ouch", friend Beast Boy." Starfire said, chuckling. Beast Boy laughed ruefully, accepting the rebuke. Then to Rose's amazement the teenager shrank into a tiny green kitten and sprang onto the table. Walking over to Raven's place he sat down and stared at Raven with the most adorable face Rose had ever seen.

"Is that supposed to make me melt?" Raven asked, raising one eyebrow. "I don't do melt."

"Aww, he's _adorable_." Rose said, leaning down to see better. The kitten turned the full force of his cuteness on the blonde girl."

"Don't encourage him." Raven rolled her eyes. "He'll be doing cute and fuzzy for _days_."

"How can you resist that face?" Rose scooped up the kitten and turned him to look at Raven. "Look at that face. Little and green and oh my God, those _eyes_."

"Beast Boy is very good at the large eyes and the soft fur and the purring." Starfire agreed. "He can be very charming friend Rose, but do not let him deceive you. Beast Boy is very fond of the practical jokes. And they are _not_ _funny_." She frowned sternly at the kitten, which just looked up at her with a sad and pathetic expression.

"Oh, he is doing it _again_." Starfire said fretfully. "Why must I be so weak against the face?" She reached out and stroked his head, smiling in spite of herself. The kitten's purr doubled in volume.

That's when it struck Rose. She was cuddling a _teenage boy_. For all he was shaped like a kitten _now_ she was cuddling him against her—.

"Oh, you _cheeky_ bugger!" Rose sat the kitten back on the table with rather more speed than gentleness. "What a sneaky way to nick thrup'ny!" Her face was blazing red. "Starfire you were right!"

"I was?" She asked, confused. Startled, the kitten turned into a bird which flew onto the floor and became Beast Boy.

"What? What'd I do?" He asked in a panic.

"Don't play the innocent with _me. _Very clever, Mr. I'm-so-cute-please-pick-me-up." Rose retorted.

"Why are you mad?" Beast Boy looked bewildered.

"Tell me he's kidding." Rose appealed to Raven. "There's no _way _anybody's that clueless."

"Oh, Beast Boy is a past master of clueless." Raven said calmly. "He probably _doesn't_ understand. Do me a favor. Don't enlighten him. Please."

"Look, I'm sorry, ok? I don't know what I did but I'm really sorry." Beast Boy didn't _look_ guilty. He just looked confused. Rose stared at him, trying to decide if it had been deliberate or not.

"Sorry. Guess I overreacted. Forget it." Rose said finally. Beast Boy relaxed with a shudder.

"You're not doing so well tonight, Beast Boy." Robin said, trying to hide a grin. "Better pack it in."

"Yeah. I'll just go sit in the corner." Beast Boy's ears drooped.

"That is not necessary, friend Beast Boy." Starfire said cheerfully. "Please stay. But perhaps a little less becoming the animal? It seems to upset friend Rose."

Rose decided not to comment, in case Beast Boy was really oblivious to what he'd done. Human men were bad enough _without _shape shifting. She'd hate to be the one to put ideas in his head…

Looking for an excuse to change the subject she looked out the floor to ceiling windows. Outside the sun was setting.

"You have the most beautiful view." She said, walking to the window. "It's amazing."

"Sometimes I watch the sun set from the roof." Starfire said, moving up beside her. "It is very peaceful. Sometimes I fly in the starlight because I cannot contain my joy."

"How come you can fly?" Rose asked curiously. "You and Raven don't have wings, but I saw you flying."

"All Tameraneans have the power of flight." Starfire answered her. "Sometimes I wish Robin had the power of flight as well. While Raven can fly, she takes little joy from it. And Beast Boy must assume the shape of a bird to fly, and so cannot speak."

"Wish I could fly. I'd love to go flying with you."

"Truly?" Starfire broke into a radiant smile.

"Yeah. Always wanted to fly through the air like a bird." Rose smiled back.

Just then Robin's communicator went off.

He studied the display and his face turned grim. "Titans, we've got trouble."

"The Slitheen?" Raven asked.

He nodded. "A young couple went for a walk on the beach—and they didn't come back. So their friends went looking for them."

"What are you saying, Robin?" Beast Boy swallowed.

"They found them behind some dunes. According to the police report the bodies were skinned and it looks like something…" He paused.

"Ate part of them." Rose finished his sentence. He nodded. "Clothes were gone too?"

"Yeah." Robin was watching her. "You've seen this before?"

"Yeah. It's how the Slitheen hunt. They kill somebody and hide the bodies. Guess they were in a hurry this time. Ordinarily the bodies are so well hidden nobody ever finds them. How much did the victims weigh?"

"Excuse me?" Robin blinked.

"Were they fat?" Rose asked in exasperation.

He glanced at the report. "No. The girl weighed about a hundred and ten, the guy weighed a hundred and sixty."

"Pounds or kilos?"

"Pounds."

"That doesn't make any _sense_. The collars, see? They only shrink the Slitheen a little. They need fat victims so they'll fit inside the skin."

"That's so _gross_." Beast Boy said, turning a darker green.

"So why go to the trouble of collecting a skin they couldn't use?" Rose said. "They're great stroppy monsters. Can't see one of them fitting inside the skin of a slender girl. Not to mention they're the wrong _shape_."

"What are you talking about?" Robin asked, obviously containing his outrage at what the Slitheen had done.

"Well, Slitheen are dumpy, really. They look like somebody took a beanie baby from Hell and stretched it out till it was eight feet tall. They're _saggy_. Not something that can sport an hourglass figure."

"Maybe the Slitheen killed them because they saw something?" Raven guessed. Robin shook his head.

"No. If that had happened they wouldn't have taken the time to skin them."

"We need the Doctor up here." Rose said. "He'll know what to make of it."

"Right." Robin pulled out his communicator. "Cyborg, come in."

"Yo, what's up Robin?" Cyborg answered immediately. "The Doctor and I think we've found a way to track that ship."

"Good. The Slitheen just killed two people." Robin said. "We need you and the Doctor up here right now."

"_Killed—_oh no." Cyborg sounded subdued. "We'll be right there."

No one said anything until the pair joined them, and then Robin gave them a terse update.

"Well," The Doctor tapped his teeth. "It's got to be one of two things. Either Skon is sending me a message, or—"

"Or what?"

"Or this wasn't done by an adult Slitheen."

"What?" Rose asked blankly.

"The Slitheen teach their children to hunt at a very young age." The Doctor said. "Might have been an adolescent. Or a pair. Kids are sloppy, right? Don't always follow Daddy's instructions in the heat of the moment."

"That's horrible." Rose said.

"Yes. Yes, it is." The Doctor sighed. "Those two are dead because I wasn't clever enough. People always seem to die, and it's rarely the right people."

"Cyborg, you found their ship?" Robin demanded.

"No, but we can track it. The Doctor tells me their hyperdrive is busted as an engine, but it's also their power plant so they don't wanna shut it down. It puts out a signal if you know what to look for. He rigged the dimensional instability transduction coil to the tracking sensors. It set up a resonating harmonic with their hyperdrive."

"English, Cyborg!" Beast Boy complained.

"Their hyperdrive makes the thingie the Doctor took ring like a bell." Cyborg said in exasperation. "Works just like radar, but faster."

"So we can find their ship?" Robin asked, eyes narrowing.

"Yeah. Only thing is this lash-up uses the Tower's sensors so we can't carry it around with us. I don't wanna leave somebody here, either. Splitting the team against these things sounds like a bad move, Robin. But if they move their ship we gotta come back here to find them again."

"Agreed." Robin said. "Doctor, we need you with us. Rose, stay here. Cyborg will show you how to run the sensors."

"Not happening, sunshine." Rose shook her head. She got up and retrieved one of the super soakers. "I fought these things before with just my wits and my heels. And we _still _kicked their sorry bums. Now I've got me a weapon that can blow these monsters into alien sushi. I'm _not _sitting on the sidelines my bright little birdy. They're going to find out Bad Wolf can hunt too."

"No." Robin shook his head. "It's one thing to kill in self-defense, Rose. It's another to hunt them down intending to kill them. I can't allow it."

"Really." Rose strode forward, invading his personal space, and put her face mere inches from his. She was nearly whispering but the room was so quiet everyone heard her clearly.

"_You_ can't allow it? What were their names, Robin?" She asked softly. "How old were they? Do they have parents who won't see their babies coming home tonight? _Tell me_."

"Jonathan Thomas and Marie-Susan Picard." He said quietly. "They were high school students. And yeah, their parents will be grieving tonight."

"Now tell me I'm not coming." Rose said evenly, still nearly whispering. Robin stared at her serene expression. The calm steady eyes, the peaceful little smile—the white knuckles gripping the rifle.

"Would it do any good?" Robin asked heavily.

"No." She stepped back.

"At least promise me you won't shoot first." Robin asked. "Give me that much."

She paused. "All right. I can give them one chance." She said. "But not two. Not for _them_."

The Doctor watched his companion with an impassive face but inside something cringed. He heard his own words echoed from her mouth and didn't like the sound of them.

"Rose." He said. She turned eyes on him that reminded him of her as she had been with the Time Vortex roaring through her soul. That had been another lifetime for him. Mere weeks for her.

"One chance." He said. "You understand? Everyone gets one chance."

"One chance." She said quietly. "I remember."

"Scary lady." Raven commented quietly. "Glad you're on our side."

"Yeah." Rose blinked, seeming to come back to herself. "Sorry. It's just—it gets to you after a while. Doctor, after this I want us to go somewhere. A nice beach, with nobody else around. Promise?"

"I promise." He smiled. "Good to have you back." He turned to Cyborg.

"So, step one, find Skon's ship. Step three, happy ending and lying on a nice beach listening to the waves."

"What happened to step two?" Cyborg asked, confused.

"Still working on that one." He said. "Shall we get to work?"


	5. 5 Hunters Dance

Chapter 5 – Hunters Dance

Their first stop was the crime scene. Cyborg took Rose, the Doctor, and Beast Boy with him in the T-car. Robin traveled on his motorcycle with Raven and Starfire flying cover. When they arrived the area was cordoned off with police swarming the area.

They had to wait until the forensics team and the coroner had left with the bodies before the detective in charge would let them past the tape. The presence of Rose and the Doctor prompted some sharp questions until Robin assured the detective they were with the Titans.

"My people have been over this area thoroughly." Detective Twain told Robin as he escorted them. "Damndest thing I ever saw. Your earlier report talked about an alien ship and possible hostiles, but _this_…" He shook his head. "It's like something out of a horror movie."

"Yeah." Robin said. "You read the part about vinegar being deadly to these things?"

"I certainly did. Hard to believe, but I guess if the Justice League's got an actual Martian working for them, and magic-using sorcerers, and Lord knows what else then aliens that explode when splashed with vinegar isn't too farfetched."

He nodded to the toy slung across Rose's back.

"That got vinegar in it?" He asked.

"Yeah. You got a problem with that?" Rose asked neutrally.

"I was the first detective on the scene." He said, turning away. "Just don't do something to force me to take official notice. Beyond that, I have nothing to say on the matter."

Rose's predatory smile didn't ease the Doctor's mind. The Titans didn't miss it either.

"Detective, better advise your men that the Slitheen won't even notice small arms fire." The Doctor said.

Detective Twain sighed. "So what else is new? We're used to it by now. I think if I ever met an alien who _wasn't_ immune to bullets I'd faint from shock." Nevertheless he took out his cell phone and dutifully passed on the warning to his superiors.

"What do you know about what happened?" Robin asked when he hung up.

"Not a lot." Detective Twain admitted. "If it's any consolation, they probably died instantly—at least that's what the coroner thinks."

"They came from the beach, obviously looking for a little privacy. There were no signs of a struggle, meaning the Slitheen must have attacked them by surprise. The aliens were hiding _there_," he pointed to some bushes, "the couple was found _there_", he pointed to a bloody patch of sand some yards from the bushes.

"Nobody heard any screams." Detective Twain continued. "That doesn't mean a whole lot since this area's pretty isolated. The coroner said cause of death was most likely a depressed skull fracture caused by a single blow, the boy's at the back of the head, the girl's in the forehead. He couldn't be more definitive because the bodies—well, they weren't in real good shape when they were found. Both skulls were _crushed_ from the blows, half the skull was caved in. Thing is, we aren't sure if the blows occurred pre- or post-mortem."

"The girl's left arm was torn loose and the boy was literally torn in half at the waist, the coroner thinks it happened after the bodies were skinned."

"Slitheen consider humans extremely fragile." The Doctor commented. "The dismemberment was probably from simple clumsiness. I suspect this attack was made by an adolescent Slitheen, one who hadn't hunted humans before."

"And how would you know that?" Detective Twain asked mildly.

"I encountered the Slitheen in London." The Doctor said blandly.

"The Doctor's an alien." Robin said. "He's here to deal with the Slitheen."

"Well Doctor, since you're the expert, is this an isolated incident? Or are we going to be finding more bodies?"

"No and no." The Doctor said. "No, this isn't an isolated incident. No, you won't likely find more bodies. I suspect the Slitheen who did this was an inexperienced hunter. This might well be its first human hunt."

"So what can we expect? People vanishing?" Detective Twain guessed.

"Probably. If we can find the Slitheen ship quickly enough we can stop the killings. If we _don't _find the ship in time the Slitheen will use the skins of the people they kill to infiltrate the government, and, over the next several years, probably destroy the Earth."

"You're kidding." Detective Twain said.

"Unfortunately, no. I stopped them once, but the Slitheen are remarkably persistent. And right now, unless I miss my guess, they're _angry_ as well."

"So what can the city do?"

"A great deal, actually. Whether they _will _or not is another matter."

"You lost me." Detective Twain frowned.

"I need the city to warn the citizens about the Slitheen. If somebody goes missing, even for a few hours, it has to be reported. If the person is found, they should be made to drink a little vinegar to prove they're still human. A shot glass full is enough."

"So let me get this straight. You want the Mayor to warn people about aliens that kill people and wear their skins to impersonate them. And you want the Mayor to say these monsters are roaming the city right now. Is _that_ what you want the Mayor to do? Do you have any idea what would happen if we did that?"

"Yes, I see your point." The Doctor said, scratching his head. "Would rather put the wind up people, wouldn't it?"

"If that means make everyone run screaming in panic, then yes." Detective Twain said drily. "The Slitheen wouldn't have to do anything. People would be killing each other faster than the aliens ever could."

"You're right." The Doctor sighed. "People are so easily goaded into a frenzy. Not one of your race's more endearing traits, no offense."

"None taken. I'm a policeman, I see it every day."

"Well, if the city can't help, I guess it's up to us." The Doctor said cheerfully. "Nothing new there, eh Rose?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Right. Find Skon's ship, deal with the Slitheen, and it's off to a nice restful beach." The Doctor rubbed his hands together vigorously. "No problem."

"And do it before more people die." Detective Twain said sharply.

"Ah. Now _that_ might be a problem, Detective." The Doctor said. "I think some people have already died tonight, just like that teenage couple."

"What makes you say that?"

"The Slitheen lost their supply of skins." The Doctor turned somber. "I made sure of that. So they need a fresh stock."

"How many people are we talking about?" Detective Twain asked, face grim.

"At least forty." The Doctor said quietly.

"_Forty?_" The man gaped.

"Possibly fifty." The Doctor confirmed. "It depends on how big their clan is. Every adult will need one to hunt properly. Maybe the older adolescents too."

"Jesus." The man whispered.

"Doctor, are you sure?" Robin's face was grim, his eyes narrowed.

"No." The Doctor said. "It's possible this was a rogue hunt by an adolescent who didn't have permission. Skon may have wanted to stay hidden. He may not know about this."

"He will if he reads the paper tomorrow." Detective Twain said sourly.

"I wouldn't put it past him." The Doctor said, musing. "They've lived on Earth long enough to know how to get the news."

"That means we have to strike tonight." Robin said decisively. "We go back to the tower, find Skon's ship and attack."

"You like the direct approach, don't you?" The Doctor said, sighing. "You lot have any weapons that can punch holes in a starship hull? Not to mention its protective force fields? Or even its _drive _fields, come to that?"

"I can get us inside." Raven said calmly.

"Oh? And then what? One member of that crew could put paid to the lot of you. There are _at least_ forty adults, and half that many young on that ship. Unless you plan to bring along a fire truck loaded with vinegar getting inside is the least of our problems."

"If you are so frightened of these Slitheen, Doctor, you may remain behind while we deal with them." Starfire said coldly. "We may be young, but we have defeated many enemies in the past. We attacked and defeated an entire _planet_ of machine warriors on one occasion. On another we defeated the invasion of a demon prince and his legions of evil. The Slitheen may be powerful, but they underestimate the Teen Titans at their peril."

"You got that right." Cyborg said.

"Yeah!" Beast Boy chimed in. "Those Slitheen won't know what hit 'em!"

"We need a plan!" The Doctor insisted.

"So? You have one?" Raven asked in her monotone.

The Doctor paused, blinking. Then a maniacal grin spread across his face.

"Ooh, yes. I rather think I do. I know how to immobilize the lot of them with one blow."

"You have our attention." Robin said.


	6. 6 Prey

Chapter 6 – Prey

Two hours later the Titans, Rose, and the Doctor were laying concealed above a river bank waiting for Beast Boy to return from his midnight swim. The Slitheen's ship was submerged somewhere in the good-sized river beneath them. The jury-rigged tracking system Cyborg and the Doctor had thrown together wasn't terribly accurate, it could only pin the ship's location down to within half a mile.

So Beast Boy was combing the river in the shape of an alligator gar, looking to gather as much intelligence as possible. The Doctor's plan hinged on finding a single Slitheen out hunting, or failing that, a small party.

The knowledge _he _was central to the plan had cheered Beast Boy no end. His shape-changing ability had the added benefit of actually gifting him with the new shape's senses as well, a fact the Doctor found hard to credit. He already had issues with Beast Boy's ability to gain and shed mass—the sensory changes were just too much to swallow, and smacked of fantasy rather than physics.

Regardless, the plan depended on Beast Boy's enhanced senses to track the Slitheen. The Titans assured him Beast Boy's abilities were quite real and worked as advertised, so he reluctantly put his faith in his allies' assurances. But it still made him profoundly uneasy.

"Guys." Beast Boy's low voice came from behind them. Rose started and twisted around, rifle barrel first. She found Beast Boy grinning at her.

"Cor, you almost ended up drenched in vinegar." She scolded him in an equally low voice. "Don't _do _that."

"Heh, heh. You should see the look on your face." He said, chuckling. "Would almost have been worth it!"

"Prat." She growled, remembering Starfire's remarks about Beast Boy's love of practical jokes.

"Did you find the ship?" Robin asked.

"Yeah." Beast Boy said. "I also found out they've got a tunnel thingie from the ship to the shore so they don't gotta get wet going back and forth. The end of the tunnel comes out inside a clump of bushes. Unless you knew it was there you'd never find it. And I found out something else."

He looked at them and the humor drained away. "There's been a _lot_ of Slitheen coming and going. Their stink is unmistakable, and it's thick around the tunnel mouth. But get this—I saw a couple of _humans_ come out of the tunnel. They didn't smell right. I think maybe they were Slitheen wearing somebody's skin. It was _way _creepy."

"They're moving quickly then." The Doctor commented. "We don't have much time. Looks like they're hunting in pairs too. I'd hoped we'd only have to fight one."

"Look, Doctor, we can _handle_ it." Robin said in exasperation. "We've got lots of experience with this sort of thing, against really powerful opponents. Beast Boy, find us a hunting party that's far enough from the ship so we can fight them without having to worry about reinforcements showing up."

"You got it." Beast Boy morphed into a wolf, tongue lolling and tail waving slowly. He set off through the woods, the others following with varying degrees of skill.

Raven and Starfire actually flew, floating a few inches off the ground. Their progress was completely silent, any slight noise being drowned out by the wind in the treetops. Robin and the Doctor were nearly as quiet.

Cyborg and Rose were the noisy ones. Neither was used to moving through the woods at night, and made enough noise that the wolf turned around and glared at them.

"Ok, you mangy green mutt." Cyborg growled. "So I'm a city boy. Sue me." Rose flashed him a smile and they both tried to move more quietly.

After fifteen minutes the wolf stopped and morphed back into Beast Boy.

"Ok, this is a good spot to ambush them." He said quietly. "This is a main trail and they've been using it all night. I'll let you know when they're coming."

He turned into an owl and sped toward the river on silent wings.

"Oh, come _on_." The Doctor complained _sotto voce_. "Now he can _fly_ too? Hmmf."

"Rose, you and the Doctor let us take the lead. Don't use that gun unless it looks like one of us is about to die. Understood?"

Rose replied softly. "You'll get your chance, Robin. Don't worry. _One_ chance. Just like them."

The group quickly concealed themselves to best tactical advantage. After about an hour a shape ghosted toward them and landed in a tree, transforming into a monkey that looked around, obviously trying to find them.

Robin rose silently out of concealment and sank back down. The monkey became a small bird and glided to join him. After a minute the bird flew from one spot to another.

His last stop was to Rose and the Doctor.

"Ok, the Slitheen are about five minutes behind me. Robin says keep low until we've dealt with them. Our fights get kinda noisy, and they tend to tear up the landscape, so this is a good spot to wait it out. If you try to help you'll just end up getting hurt. We play _rough_." Beast Boy said. He wasn't smiling, and his tone was serious.

He morphed back into a sparrow and flew up to land in a tree directly over the trail.

"You think they can handle this?" Rose asked the Doctor in a whisper.

"Let's find out." The Doctor said. "If they can't—well we still have the rifle. If they can you and I have an appointment with a beach."

"Sounds _smashing_." She said with a brief smile, settling down to wait. Silently she checked the squirt rifle to make sure it would work if she needed it. The Doctor watched her, the smallest frown playing about his mouth.

It seemed much longer than the promised five minutes but suddenly the Slitheen were there, moving silently along the trail, huge dark shadowy shapes. They passed Rose and the Doctor's place of concealment, moving without apparent haste.

_Look at them. _Rose thought to herself. _Out for a lovely midnight stroll, the bloody wankers._

"Titans, _go!" _Robin roared, breaking concealment and charging the Slitheen. Blobs of brilliant green light hurtled down from the treetops and impacted the Slitheen with loud explosions, knocking one of the monsters down and making the other stagger. A brilliant blue beam speared out of the darkness and struck the still standing Slitheen, literally knocking it five feet through the air to slam against a tree. It bounced off, apparently dazed.

Something truly enormous dropped out of Beast Boy's tree, landing on top of the fallen Slitheen with an impact Rose and the Doctor could feel from their hiding spot. More green balls of light, impacting the second Slitheen, lit the scene like emerald lightning, revealing an _ankylosaurus_, of all things. A green one.

"A _dinosaur?_" The Doctor squawked, outraged. "One of those things weighs a good six tons Rose! That's bloody _impossible_." He scowled at the scene, offended that the laws of physics were being so flagrantly violated right in front of him. Not even the Time Lords could have pulled off _that_ trick.

"Hi-_ya_." Robin sprang impossibly high, bringing around the quarter-staff that had magically appeared in his hands right across the eyes of the Slitheen, who roared in pain, swiping at the boy. But Robin was already out of range, dancing backward even as he threw something at the Slitheen's chest.

A series of explosions knocked the creature back toward the dinosaur, which promptly spun around and slammed the massive knob of bone at the end of its tail into the Slitheen's back. The unfortunate Slitheen flew back through the air and smashed into the same tree it had the first time. This time it staggered like a drunkard as it recovered.

"Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark." Rose commented, wincing. She found herself actually feeling _sorry_ for the Slitheen.

"Beast Boy, _batter up!" _Raven called from the dark treetops. The Slitheen suddenly found itself floating in midair, then tossed unceremoniously back toward the dinosaur, which gleefully slammed the alien back into the same tree for a third time.

Everyone paused—watching as the Slitheen slowly straightened up and staggered back one step. Then, with a sad little hiss, it fell backward and hit the ground, laying still.

Rose and the Doctor emerged from concealment, shocked at how easily five teenagers had downed two adult Slitheen without a scratch. The whole fight had taken less than a minute.

"Dude, I thought you said these things were tough?" Beast Boy complained. "Dr. Light fights _way_ harder than these two! And he's a _wimp._"

"Truly, they did seem—less than challenging." Starfire said, floating above the two Slitheen.

"No wonder they kill from ambush." Robin said. "Any meta-human could defeat one of these things without breaking a sweat. _I _could take one in a stand up fight."

"Yes, I must admit to being _very _impressed. You have my sincere apologies for doubting you." The Doctor said. "But just remember there's lots more where these two came from. Let's be about our business so Skon and his merry band won't kill anybody else, hmm?"

He pulled an instrument out of his coat pocket and applied it to the collar around the unconscious Slitheen's neck. The collar popped open at once, and the Doctor handed it to Cyborg. The other Slitheen proved more of a challenge, since he was literally pressed into the ground, but the Doctor finally managed when Raven telekinetically pulled the unconscious alien out of the hole the dinosaur had created when it landed on him.

"You have anything to bind these two?" The Doctor asked Robin. The boy nodded and pulled out two slender lengths of metal.

"Titanium reinforced with braided Sinclair monofilament." Robin said. "It'll hold 'em."

The two Slitheen were quickly bound and set against some trees. The Doctor wrote a note and laid it in one of the Slitheen's laps.

"Now, let's get out of here before their friends show up to collect them." The Doctor said, grinning. "Skon is going to be absolutely _livid_."


	7. 7 Deal With The Devil

Chapter 7 – Deal With The Devil

Back at the Tower everyone was relaxing after the fight, waiting for Skon to contact them. The Doctor's plan was well underway, and depended on Skon's response to the ultimatum in the note.

"What _I _want to know is how Beast Boy put on 13,000 pounds in an instant." The Doctor said. "That's quite a trick."

"Dunno. Ever since my parents had to fiddle with my DNA when I was a baby, I've been able to become any animal I want. The big ones really take it out of me though—I can't hold them for more than a few minutes." Beast Boy said. "I can be a small one for as long as I want."

"Yes, but where does the mass go?" The Doctor persisted. "It's almost like you carry around a pocket universe or something."

"_Dude! _That is so _cool_." Beast Boy's eyes widened. "A whole pocket universe—and it's filled with _me_."

"Great." Raven said sarcastically. "That's _just_ what we need. A universe filled with Beast Boy."

"Truly, friend Raven, it is a frightening thought." Starfire said with a delicate shudder.

"Star!" Beast Boy protested, hurt.

"I believe the term is "Got you", friend Beast Boy." Starfire said, smiling brightly. Beast Boy's jaw dropped.

"Star, was that a _joke_?" Beast Boy asked. She nodded.

"Yes, To make you partake in the medicine you possess, Beast Boy."

"Give you a taste of your own medicine." He corrected automatically. "I think that's the first time you pulled a joke on me, Starfire. _Awesome!_"

"You are not offended?" She asked, tilting her head.

"No! I think it's great!" Beast Boy enthused.

"Sometimes I am convinced I shall never understand Earth customs." Starfire said.

"Don't worry about it, Star. Beast Boy is in a class all by himself." Robin said easily.

"_I _wanna know how Birdy here was able to leap eight feet straight up in the air and where that quarterstaff came from." Rose said, staring at Robin. "And what did you throw at the Slitheen?"

"Trick shoes." Robin said with a straight face. "A retractable staff. And quantum stabilized explosive disks."

"While we're on the subject." The Doctor interjected. "Where did that blue energy beam come from?"

"That was me." Cyborg held up his right arm. Something complicated happened and his hand disappeared, leaving the unmistakable muzzle of a weapon. "It was my sonic cannon. The blue beam is just for aiming. The punch is all sonic energy. Sort of a laser made of sound."

The Doctor watched Cyborg's hand reassemble itself in fascination.

"Nanotechnology?" He asked.

"Nope, micromachining." Cyborg answered. "I save the nanotech for my energy cells. Haven't managed to get reliable conversion with dynamic nanotech yet."

"_English_, Cy!" Beast Boy said in exasperation. "The rest of us don't speak Technobabble."

The human half of Cyborg's forehead crinkled in concentration. Then he shrugged.

"Can't translate that into grass-stain." He said cheerfully. "Some things are just too complicated to explain in words of one syllable or less."

Beast Boy gave Cyborg a raspberry. It was particularly effective since Beast Boy's tongue morphed into a long, thick, purple and _prehensile_ organ for the event.

"Man that was just _nasty_." Cyborg said, laughing.

"Thank you, thank you very much." Beast Boy said, grinning. "I'm here all week. Be sure and remember to tip your waitress."

The three girls in the room studiously ignored the byplay.

Suddenly the massive TV screen facing the couch came on, displaying Skon in all his saggy naked glory. Raven made a gagging sound and turned away.

"I am Skon Lor-Kip Almarka-Bar Slitheen_._" The alien grated. As far as Rose could tell Skon appeared calm, but it was always dicey trying to read alien expressions.

"I would speak with the Doctor, since he has seen fit to issue an ultimatum to the Slitheen."

"I'm here, Skon." The Doctor rolled to his feet, smiling jovially. "Good of you to return my call so promptly."

"I thought I would repay your courtesy in leaving my clansmen alive after your successful hunt, Doctor. We Slitheen, of course, rarely choose to spare our prey, unless the prey is unworthy."

"Yes, well, I don't like killing myself. Such a messy business." The Doctor answered. "Mind you, I'm not all that keen on hunting, either. How are your clansmen, by the way?"

"Gens Alt-Ska Almarka-Bar Slitheen has thirteen broken ribs, a skull fracture in two places, a broken arm and no memory of how it occurred. Dra Gib-Darat Almarka-Bar Slitheen has a concussion, two broken ribs, and a fractured vertebra. She also has a migraine from her encounter with you. We expect both to make a full recovery." He paused. "It was quite unsporting of you to use energy weapons against my clansmen, Doctor. We Slitheen hunt as nature intended, with claws and skill alone."

"While wearing the skins of your prey." The Doctor pointed out mildly.

"Subterfuge is, of course, a necessity when hunting in the midst of the herd, Doctor. But our kills are always one on one."

"Or one on two." The Doctor said, sobering. "Tell me, did one of your youngsters recently go hunting without authorization, Skon?"

"You refer to the young human couple in the dunes behind the beach?" Skon inquired politely.

"That would be the ones, yes."

"An unfortunate misjudgment by one of our younger children. It was her first human hunt. Her targets were far too skinny for the skins to be of use, even for our youngest children. I understand she was terribly sloppy in skinning the bodies as well. My apologies for the mess she made, Doctor. She is very precocious but lacks the finesse of an experienced hunter. You can rest assured she has been appropriately punished for her indiscretion."

"Sent to bed without her supper? Given a spanking and told not to be naughty again? That sort of thing?"

"Exactly, Doctor." Skon said. "We Slitheen have high regard for our children, as do all Raxacoricofallapatorians. We have a duty to raise them to be proper Slitheen."

"Pity you don't have equal regard for the children of other species, Skon." The Doctor said in a steely voice. "Listen to me. Your little stunt with the hyperdrive pulled us both into an alternate universe. I'm giving you the opportunity to come back with me. Leave this Earth in peace and I'll tow your ship back through the Spiral and see you safe back in our universe. You have the word of a Time Lord."

"Have you forgotten, Doctor, that the Slitheen are under sentence of death on our home world? Have you also forgotten that you yourself summoned our executioners? Why should I take up your offer when it means the death of my entire clan? Not to mention my own. Surely you can see you give us no incentive to do ask you ask."

"True enough. But this world isn't like the Earth in our universe. This one has protectors. Your clansmen ran into five of them. I swear to you my companion and I took no part in that fight. Oh, and Skon? Those five were _teenagers_. They aren't even adults yet. And they won that fight in less than a minute's time."

"You lie! No human adolescents could defeat two Slitheen hunters! Even from ambush and armed with energy weapons!"

"Then what happened to your clansmen?" The Doctor asked snidely.

Starfire came up to stand beside the Time Lord.

"The Doctor does not lie, Skon. I am young, but I am not human, I am Tameranean. Your clansmen proved to be disappointing in battle. My friends and I dispatched them with little effort—and no risk to ourselves."

Skon studied her. "I find that hard to believe, Tameranean. Of course, since you used energy weapons instead of your own abilities you did have the advantage."

Her eyes started to glow, and she raised one hand, which was surrounded by a brilliant green ball of light.

"Do not seek to insult me, Slitheen." Starfire said coldly. "I did not use weapons. I fought your clansmen with nothing but my own abilities! And I was _not _impressed."

"I have listened to your words of madness, Skon, now hear mine. You would do well to accept the Doctor's kindness, for I will offer you none. If you stay here and continue to _hunt_," Starfire's lip curled, "We will find you, and we will bring every one of you to justice. This I swear as a princess of the Royal House of Tameran. Do not doubt me, monster, and do not test me."

"Brave words, _prey_." Skon sneered. "I think I will save you for myself and mount your stuffed body in my quarters. That red hair of yours will go nicely with the wall hangings. You can't stop me, _princess_. You and your friends are nothing but cattle, to be slaughtered at the whim of the Slitheen!"

"You're forgetting me, Skon." The Doctor said. "And your megalomaniacal ranting is getting old."

"What can _you_ do, Doctor?" The Slitheen scoffed. "You ran from us like a frightened rabbit! You aren't even _worth_ hunting."

"Really?" The Doctor pulled an instrument from his jacket and dug out one of the captured collars. "I think you'll find I'm a lot more dangerous than you give me credit for, Skon. Unlike the Slitheen I _do _use weapons. But I also use my mind. And you, old monster, are _done_."

He thumbed the instrument, which emitted a blue glow, and brought it down against the large square mesh on the collar's front.

Instantly the collar around Skon's next burst into coruscating sheets of lightning, which covered the large green alien. Skon shivered and jerked as he was electrocuted, unable to even move under the fierce electrical shock.

The Doctor turned off his instrument, and Skon staggered. Then the Doctor reactivated the instrument and Skon was again covered in arcing blue bolts of electrical fire.

The Doctor repeated the cycle a couple of more times before returning the instrument to his pocket. Skon tore the collar from his neck and hurled it out of frame, before collapsing to his knees, drawing in great shuddering breaths.

"Now, Skon, tell me how worthless I am." The Doctor's voice was cold. "Tell me how harmless I am. Tell me how a frightened rabbit just destroyed your most potent defenses, you psychotic coprolite!"

Starfire had stepped back, staring at the Doctor with wide eyes that no longer glowed and holding out her hands defensively. Hands that weren't covered in green balls of light.

"_Dude._" Beast Boy said in a low shocked voice. No one else said anything, but Rose was smiling her predatory smile again. Of all the Titans only Raven appeared unmoved. But she was watching both Rose and the Doctor closely.

"You are worthy prey after all, Doctor." Skon forced himself to his feet. "And while it is true you have brought the Slitheen to bay, we are not beaten yet. Losing the collars is indeed a crippling blow. They will be sorely missed."

He smiled. The expression was a hideous rictus on his bulging alien face.

"However we are not helpless, Doctor. This ship has _force fields_. It has _weapons. _You would drive the Slitheen to extinction and yes, you _have_ hurt us. But we will destroy this city, Doctor. We will smash it and burn it, and slaughter every human until there is nothing left. And then we'll move on to the next city and the _next _until these protectors you speak of manage to bring us down. _If_ they manage."

"You may destroy us, Doctor, but the price will be high, I promise you that! You should have given back our transduction coil when we asked. Now, the death of the Slitheen will be remembered in terror by our prey for ten thousand years!"

Skon laughed, only this time it wasn't a mocking desperate laugh. It was a laugh of genuine amusement, the kind of laugh your grandfather would laugh just before handing out Christmas presents.

"Let the hunt begin!" He said merrily.

"What if I changed the terms of my offer?" The Doctor said. "Take you back _and _give back your transduction coil?"

"I am listening." Skon said, pausing.

"Doctor, you _can't._" Robin exclaimed. "This monster will never stop killing. Him _and_ his filthy brood. Not until they're stopped. _Permanently._"

"I can stop them. In this universe at least." The Doctor said, watching Skon. Robin's eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything more.

"How do I know you won't sabotage the transduction coil and let us destroy ourselves when we activate the hyperdrive, Doctor?"

"I give you my word as a Time Lord, under Article 15 of the Shadow Proclamation." The Doctor said. "I will not tamper with the transduction coil to destroy your ship. In fact I will return it in good working order."

"Agreed." Skon said.

"My ship was damaged." The Doctor said. "I'll need a day to repair her. Once I've done that I'll take you back through the Spiral, give you your transduction coil and leave you to your own devices. Do we have a deal, Skon?"

"Yes, Doctor. But no tricks."

"No tricks. You'll get your transduction coil in working order and I'll deliver you safely back to our universe. The police frigates aren't due for another twelve days. That should give you plenty of time to make your escape."

"It has been interesting doing business with you, Doctor. Perhaps we shall meet again."

"For your sake, Skon, you better pray we never do."

Skon chuckled and the screen went blank.


	8. 8 A Thumb On The Scales Of Justice

Chapter 8 – A Thumb On The Scales Of Justice

"What do you think you're _doing?_" Robin snarled. "Letting that monster go? I don't care if it's in another universe! Did you _hear_ him? Did you? He's going to kill again, him and his whole clan!"

The Doctor stared at Robin calmly.

"First of all, it's not your jurisdiction. This city is your protectorate. You should be worried about the citizens of Jump City."

"I am!" He said hotly.

"Then you should want Skon and his bloodthirsty clan gone from this city, this planet, and this universe." The Doctor pointed out.

"I do! But they shouldn't be loose _anywhere_ they can kill innocent people! Doing that makes you responsible for their crimes!"

"Does it? Yes, I suppose it would. Good thing that's not going to happen, isn't it?" The Doctor beamed the boy, who gaped at him.

"Oh come now." The Doctor snorted. "Do you honestly think I'd let Skon skip off scot free? It's long past time the Slitheen got what's coming to them. But it's not as simple as hitting them over the head. Oh no, the time stream must never ever be corrupted. Big nasty things with sharp teeth come and devour everything in sight when that happens. Right, Rose?"

"You talking about those Reaper things?" Rose shuddered.

"The very ones!" The Doctor raised one finger like a professor giving a lecture.

"You see, children, as nasty as Skon and his clan are—and they're _extremely_ nasty—they mustn't be killed. At least, not all of them. Because they're the parents and grandparents of the Slitheen that Rose and I fought in London. Got that? No parents, no children. No children, and you have a rip-roaring time paradox and the Reapers come and wipe out everything that caused the paradox. And I wouldn't bet they can't cross the dimensional boundary."

"Trust me. You think _Slitheen_ are bad? They're angels compared to Reapers. You can't negotiate with a Reaper. You can't fight it, you can't hurt it, and you can't hide from it. And it always travels in _packs_."

"So the best thing is to get Skon and his merry monsters back to my universe. Where Skon is in for a really _nasty_ surprise."

"You lied to him." Raven said, suddenly understanding. "You'll rig that coil thing to blow up his ship."

"Nope." The Doctor grinned at her. "Can't lie. The Shadow Proclamation gets really _cross_ when someone takes their name in vain. I don't need the grief."

"You said you'd make sure the coil was in working order, Doctor. I _heard_ you." Rose said.

"I did, didn't I?" The Doctor was obviously enjoying himself. "A man's only as good as his word, Rose. They'll get it back, in perfect working order. Of course I never actually said it wouldn't do something _in addition_, now did I? Call it a…bonus. Better than before." He chuckled.

"I don't get it." Beast Boy said, scratching his head.

"That's the beauty of it." The Doctor beamed. "Skon won't either!"

"What exactly are you going to do, Doctor?" Robin asked suspiciously.

"I'm going to give Skon exactly what he wants." The Doctor's face turned serious. "Skon loves the hunt. But you see the Slitheen are only one clan from a planet full of different clans. And they _all_ like to hunt. It's in the Raxacoricofallapatorian DNA. It's just most of them are civilized, peaceful, and _law abiding._"

Starfire started to laugh. The Doctor grinned at the Tameranean girl. Rose and the other Titans looked at each other blankly.

"Truly Doctor, you are a master of the practical joke, yes?" Starfire finally said with one hand pressed against her stomach. Her face was flushed from the force of her laughter.

"Oh yes." The Doctor was grinning like a loon. He so rarely got to play practical jokes that actually _mattered_.

"All right, Doctor, you're very clever." Rose said good-naturedly. "Why don't you explain yourself so the rest of us can appreciate it too?"

Still watching Starfire he held one finger to his lips in a shushing motion. Eyes twinkling, the alien girl nodded solemnly.

"No, I don't think I will." The Doctor said, chuckling. "My little secret. You'll find out soon enough, Rose. Starfire, don't tell anyone till after we leave, right?"

"I promise, Doctor." Starfire said with a beatific smile.

"Dude, that's so unfair!" Beast Boy complained.

"Count your blessings, friend, that we merely withhold knowledge of this joke, rather than play one on you." Starfire said with mock severity. "Practical jokes are not funny—wait, I tell a lie. This one is _very _funny. But most are not. Especially those involving _motor oil_."

Beast Boy wilted under her gaze. "I thought you forgave me for that."

"Of course I forgave you, friend Beast Boy. But that does not mean I _forgot_." Starfire said with a sweet smile. Beast Boy swallowed and slipped behind Robin.

"Save me." He said in a small voice. "I'm _doomed_."

"Don't look at me." Robin said. "I have to sleep in the same bed with her. There's no _way_ I'm taking any heat for you, Beast Boy."

"You got a point." Beast Boy admitted. "Raven?"

"Not if you paid me." Raven said flatly. By now the angry mood was broken and everyone was relaxing.

"That's better." The Doctor said in satisfaction. "Cyborg, if we're going to be ready by tomorrow night I'm going to need your help, both for the coil and my ship."

"You got it, Doc. Anything you need."

"Cyborg?"

"Yeah Doc?"

"Please don't call me Doc."

"Gotcha."

The two worked through the night, and left at dawn for the TARDIS. Rose was shown to a guest room to get a few hours of sleep before the final showdown. Starfire woke her at sundown and after a quick meal they set off for the TARDIS.

Since Cyborg had taken the T-Car Robin gave her a ride on the back of his motorcycle while the other three flew. When they pulled up at the TARDIS, she was grinning so widely it hurt.

"Blimey, Robin that was _brilliant_." Rose said, laughing. "I love your motorcycle! So _fast_ and I could have sworn we were airborne a couple of times."

"We were." He said casually, dismounting. "I was in a hurry."

"Ha! I knew it! You are one crazy birdy." Rose chuckled.

"There's the T-Car but I don't see Cyborg or the Doctor." Robin said. "Any idea where they might be?"

"Inside, most likely." Rose said. "Hang on, I've got a key."

Starfire eyed the small blue box. "Cyborg would barely fit inside such a box, friend Rose." She said doubtfully. "If the Doctor were inside with him they must surely be uncomfortable. Perhaps they are stuck? Should we not render assistance?"

Rose laughed as she unlocked the door and stepped through. She turned and spoke.

"Well come on, you lot. No telling where they've gotten off to. It could take hours to find them."

She vanished inside the box.

"Friend, I do not understand—" Starfire leaned through the doors and gave an _eek_ of surprise as she was pulled bodily inside.

"Star!" Robin leaped through the doors, only to freeze, staring at the six foot passage leading to a pair of massive metal doors a good two feet thick that gapped open in front of him. Rose struck her head through the doors.

"Well, come_ on_." She said with a grin, vanishing again.

Robin backed out of the box, eyes bulging. He ran around the outside of the box quickly, looking for anything that might explain what he'd seen.

"Robin? Where's Starfire?" Raven asked.

Collecting himself he said glumly, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Come on."

"Come on _where?_" Beast Boy said as Raven followed their leader through the doors. Shrugging Beast Boy followed.

"Cool! This is like Mumbo's hat, right?" Beast Boy said as they went through the metal doors.

"I guess." Robin said. "Didn't know the Doctor was a magician though."

"What? Who's a magician?" The Doctor popped up from an open grating beside the console in the middle of the large room the Titans found themselves in.

"Last time I saw something like this was when the magician Mumbo sucked us into his hat." Robin said.

"What, turning pretty girls into rabbits and then sawing them in half? That sort of thing?" The Doctor grinned. "Not my cup of tea. Good timing, by the way. Welcome to the TARDIS."

"Thanks." Raven said sardonically.

He climbed out of the hatch and threw a switch on the console. The armored doors closed silently and an electronic hum filled the air.

"Ah, _that's _my girl." He said, patting the console. Returning to the hatch he called down, "Cyborg! That's got it. Come on up, I'd say we're finished."

Cyborg took his sweet time reappearing, working his way through the hatch with some difficulty.

"Man, you need bigger doors in this thing." He complained. "Hey, guys! Check this place out! The Doctor tells me this is just the tip of the iceberg. Says it's got more rooms than the Empire State building."

"Nice." Beast Boy said approvingly. "You got a pool in this thing, Doctor?"

"Um, yes, in the bathroom." The Doctor answered distractedly, studying an instrument on the console.

"I say, Cyborg, she's feeling better than she has in years! Very well done."

"When Cyborg fixes it, it purrs like a kitten." Cyborg said, buffing his metal nails against his equally metallic chest with a scraping noise.

The lights flickered slightly and the TARDIS gave out a whispery buzz. The Doctor's face lit up and he slapped Cyborg on the back.

"She likes you." He said, chuckling. "Haven't felt her this frisky in over a hundred years. Well, hate to fix and run but it's time I put Skon out of your misery."

"We're leaving already?" Rose said in surprise.

"No rest for the wicked, Rose. And we've still miles to go before we sleep on that beach." The Doctor said. He threw the switch that opened the doors, pleased beyond measure the main power was on.

"Friends, it has been a most memorable encounter." Starfire said as the group moved toward the open air. "Will we see you again?"

"No, I don't think so." The Doctor said, turning serious for a moment. "I'm getting far too old for these inter-universe jaunts."

"Then in that case I shall give you both the hug." Starfire said. The Doctor started to protest but this time Starfire's embrace was gentle.

"Take care, friend Rose. May X'Hal watch over you." Starfire smiled at the girl, who couldn't help but smile back.

_That redhead's got the soul of a cocker spaniel._ The Doctor thought to himself.

"Good luck." Robin said, shaking the Doctor's hand. "I wish we could have met under different circumstances."

"Yes, well I never seem to end up in the land of milk and honey." The Doctor said ruefully. "I'm just glad I can leave _this_ Earth in such capable hands."

"Thanks." Robin said, surprised and gratified.

"Rose, time to go." The Doctor waved and disappeared inside the TARDIS.

"Well, guess that's my cue." Rose said, shifting awkwardly. "Oh, I suppose I should give this back." She pulled the squirt rifle off her back and held it out to Robin.

He shook his head.

"Keep it. With the Slitheen gone we've got no use for it but you might."

"Thanks." Rose looked at each of them. "I mean that. It's been a real blast!" She waved, grinning and closed the TARDIS door as she vanished within.

The TARDIS started making a wailing, cyclic groan which gradually grew faster. It faded from view, leaving only a large square of flattened grass to prove it had ever sat there.

Robin took out his communicator and punched in a code.

"Titan's Tower to Watchtower." He said.

"This is the Watchtower." A voice that wasn't Batman's answered.

"In a few minutes that alien ship that landed here is going to take off." Robin said. "The ship is filled with extremely dangerous criminals and the ship is _still armed_, I repeat, _still armed._ The small ship towing them is crewed by _friendlies_, not hostiles. They intend to tow the other ship through the portal and close the portal behind them. Once the portal closes those ships can't come back. You might want to send an escort for the small towing ship until they're through the portal."

"We've been monitoring the situation." The voice said. "There were reports of several bizarre murders in Jump City yesterday."

"The aliens, yeah." Robin said bitterly. "The crew of the small ship managed to cripple the criminals' plans. Then they made a deal so the aliens wouldn't try going out in a blaze of glory. The Slitheen threatened to keep destroying cities until their ship was destroyed unless the small ship took them back through the portal and repaired their hyperdrive."

"Understood." The voice said calmly. "We will organize an escort to ensure the alien craft does indeed go through the portal. Watchtower out."

"Who was that?" Cyborg asked.

"I think it was J'onn J'onzz, the Martian Man-hunter." Robin said. "I'd hate to be the Slitheen right now if they try anything on this side of the portal."

"What about on the _other_ side of the portal?" Raven asked quietly.

"The Doctor can handle himself." Robin said confidently. "He managed to disable their hyperdrive in the first place."

"And don't forget about his ship." Cyborg said. "That TARDIS is a marvel."

"Yeah, but does it run on AC or DC?" Beast Boy quipped.

"Grass stains shouldn't try to talk engineering." Cyborg retorted.

The two Titans fell into a comfortable argument as the group went back to their vehicles for the ride home.


	9. 9 Loose the Hounds

Chapter 9 – Loose the Hounds

"Ready?" The Doctor asked Rose as she walked down the ramp.

"Yeah. I'm really gonna miss them." The girl said.

"They do grow on you. Especially the green one."

"Yeah, well the green one was a little _too_ cute for my taste." Rose said darkly. The Doctor raised an eyebrow but she just shook her head.

"Right, next stop, Skon's ship." The Doctor threw the switch that sent the TARDIS into flight, and immediately threw it back. Rose looked over his shoulder into the scanner as the river started to boil, the huge ship coming out of the water like Leviathan under them.

"Huh, guess they were keeping an eye out. Oh well. Now, a bit of hocus pocus, razamataz and _voila!_ One Slitheen starship wrapped up in a nice tight gravio-dimensional field and we're off!"

"Pity I didn't think of this before. The field wraps space around them like a blanket, so if they fire any weapons _blammo_, no more Slitheen. They'd be hit by their own fire. Likewise no communications either so we won't have to listen to that maniac rant."

"You should have said!" Rose complained. "That Skon gives me the screaming jib-jabs. Not to mention he's _butt ugly_. If I never see another naked Slitheen I'll be a happy girl."

"The only disadvantage of using the field this way is we have to make the run to the portal through normal space. Well, at least we aren't likely to run into any space ships up—oh my."

"What?"

"Looks like I spoke too soon. There's a good fifteen—no—twenty ships closing in around us."

"Things _never_ run smoothly for you, do they Doctor?" Rose said, chuckling in spite of the danger.

_"This is Javelin-7 calling the small blue box_."

"Hello, this is the Doctor." The Doctor said cheerfully. "Won't be a mo', I'm just towing this lot through the portal, and we'll be out of your hair. Sorry for the trespass, won't happen again, you have my word."

"Understood. We're actually here to escort you to the portal. We've been informed the ship under tow is armed and hostile. Is that true?"

"Well, they are armed and hostile." The Doctor admitted. "But right now they're as helpless as a kitten wrapped up in a carpet. I've got them inside a gravio-dimensional field so they're pretty much blind, deaf, and dumb at the moment."

"Good to know." The voice said drily. "But if it's all the same to you we'll still escort you in case your charges decide to open their eyes."

"Happy for the company, Javelin-7." The Doctor thumbed the switch that ended communication.

"Well, looks like Robin arranged this little honor guard for us. So thoughtful of him."

"Yeah, it's nice to have friends." Rose said. "Pity they won't be coming through the portal with us."

"Just as well." The Doctor said. "The portal leads through the Spiral and that's not going to be a comfy amusement ride. Better grab onto something when we go through, no telling how rough it'll be."

"Cyborg's going to be mad if you beat up the TARDIS again." Rose warned him.

"Not half as mad as I'll be." The Doctor said. "Portal coming up in 30 seconds." Rose grabbed onto a support arch that held the console in place.

"Javelin-7, this is the Doctor. Thanks for the escort but I'd clear off if I were you. No telling how exciting the portal's going to be when it closes. I recommend you keep a healthy distance."

"Acknowledged, Doctor. _Bon Voyage_."

The Doctor watched the escorting ships peel off and sprint back toward Earth with one eye as he watched the approaching portal with the other.

"All up to you now, old girl." He grabbed a stanchion. "Hang on!"

The fleeing Javelins saw the two ships pass through the portal, which flared brilliantly, then winked out.

"Well _that _was anti-climactic I must say." The Doctor said in indignation as the TARDIS shivered a bit and settled into smooth flight.

"Here I was all set for horrific banging and clanging! Where's the noise? The excitement of racing through the most terrifying forces in the universe? Its total pants! Bah!"

"You _are_ insane." Rose said sarcastically. "If you ask me we deserve a bit of peace and quiet after all the sound and fury."

"Speaking of crazy, guess it's time to let the inmates out and give them back their toy." The Doctor said. "You want to toss this through the door when we land?" He handed her the transduction coil.

"Who, me?" Rose said. "What do I look like, a complete idiot? I'd rather drop them in a sun, not give them back their hyperdrive."

"As fun as that would be, there's still the Reapers to consider." The Doctor said, grinning. "Be quick."

Grousing under her breath Rose made her way to the outer doors.

"_Now_, Rose." The Doctor said, pointing to the doors.

Without pausing to think she cracked open the door, tossed the ball-like device as hard as she could, and slammed the door shut and latched it. The TARDIS was back in flight in under a minute.

"Now you owe me a beach, you prat." She said, punching him in the arm. "A lovely warm beach with nobody around. No monsters, no poison ivy, nobody needing me to claim I'm your _wife_." She glared at him.

"I know the perfect spot." The Doctor said. "But first we've got a delivery to make."

"A delivery? Of what?" Rose asked, honestly puzzled. The Doctor reached in his pocket and pulled out a blue and silver box with an LCD screen on it. He handed it to her.

"What's this then?" She asked, turning it over.

"A tracking device. Tuned to the output from the _modified_ dimensional instability transduction coil you just returned to the Slitheen."

"Skon loves the hunt, does he?" The Doctor said with a feral smile. "Let's see how well he likes it from the other side."

Rose stared down at the device in her hands. She found herself wondering just how well a single Slitheen starship would fare against two police corvettes.

"That wasn't nice." She said. "Not at _all._"

She felt herself start to grin. Then she started to laugh…


End file.
